And I Love Her
by emackenzie
Summary: Jude's been gone for five years.  Tommy put his life back together, but do they have a life without each other?  Tip Of My Tongue from Tommy's POV.
1. Chapter 1

Certain scenes get stuck in my head, and then I can't stop thinking about them until I write them, and then it feels like a waste to just have this perfect part written, so I have to add more too it, therefore coming up with a story line. When I finished Tip of My Tongue, these thoughts about what Tommy was doing, and why he was acting the way he was, I just couldn't stop thinking about it. **_If you haven't read Tip Of My Tongue I recommend reading it first.  
><em>**Fair warning, this one will take longer to write and post simply because I am not a male, and I don't understand the male mind, and I'm not sure I want to.  
>Enjoy!<p>

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><p>He looked back at his phone, double checking the number. It seemed impossible, unreal. He thought it was a joke, some prank that wasn't very funny. He could remember some of the things he had done in the past, things he thought were pranks, but were just bad. This could just be added to the long list of others. It not only wasn't funny, but it made him mad.<p>

"Can you hear me?" he heard the man's voice.

Placing the phone back to his ear, he looked around the loft, wondering where the hidden camera was. "What did you say?" He was hoping that because it was early in the morning, maybe he had heard him wrong, but he knew, the feeling in his stomach made him know, his words were true.

"Jude, dude, she's coming back. She'll be at the airport in a few hours." He whispered. "Darius wants here brought here, and Sadie can't go."

"And you're telling me this because?" he didn't understand. Why would it matter? Why would he care if she was coming back? She had left, without much of an explanation, she had chosen to live without him, and he had to put himself back together, re-figure out his life, a life without Jude. It hadn't been easy. When she had left, when he watched her ride away in the limo, he knew the only thing he could do was to let her go. She was only 18, and she needed to live her life, live the life that he had already done.

"Because I, unlike you, have seen her, and I'll never admit this again, but she's not the same Jude without you."

Tommy wanted to smile. He wanted to believe that it was true, he wanted to let himself feel that way again. He had told himself that he would let her do this, he would allow her to spread her wings, and discover who she was, but if she was to ever come back, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from loving her. He would never be able to stop loving her.

"Big Lou is picking her up, if you want to go." He whispered.

Go? Why would he go? He wasn't going to go somewhere he wasn't wanted. It would go against everything he had decided. But he knew once those words came through the receiver, he was already on his way. He's body reacted faster than his mind, and by the time his mind caught up it was too late to turn back.

He was standing in the airport, watching as she watched towards them; she seemed unaware of his presence while he signed an autograph. He could hear her make a joke. The sound of her voice made his heart stop, it always had. Even in the busy airport, with all the other chatter, it was so easy for him to pick out her voice.

"So what's the deal Big Lou, last I heard you still worked for Darius?" she asked.

He couldn't wait any longer, it was killing him inside to be so close to her. "He does." Tommy handed back the pen and stepped around Big Lou, smiling at the girl that had once shattered his heart. She looked just like the last picture he had seen of her. Her hair slightly longer, but still the same bright blond that seemed to make a whole room shine, make her shine.

Looking at her, he knew that he could forgive her for any pain she had ever caused him, and that scared him. To think that this girl, this woman could have such a hold on him, to have that much more power him, it was frightening. It didn't make him feel like a man, it made him shake in fear. He had loved before her, and maybe even after her, but he knew that Angie nor Portia had ever had this kind of power over him. He had never given them this much of his heart before, and now he knew he never wanted to give that much again.

"Harrison." He smiled, watching as confusion and panic took over. He knew it was a mistake to come, but he also knew that he couldn't wait to see her, he didn't want to wait to see her eyes in real life. She was everything he remembered.


	2. Chapter 2

The ride back to G Major had been awkward, more than that it had been uncomfortable. She took the first chance she had to make a phone call, to talk about another guy, and all he could do was make himself look busy. He had no one to call, nothing of importance to tend to, nothing he could remember. When he had gotten the phone call that morning, everything else seemed less important, but now he wished he had something important to do, something to busy himself and his mind.

He seemed to get his wish as they pushed through the crowd outside of the building. The new receptionist handed him a folder, and he needed to look over the lyrics of the song, and list of equipment he needed, and the contract he had been waiting for, the contract from Seattle.

Tommy hung back a few steps as Darius greeted her. It had taken the whole ride to the airport to come up with a reason for being there, for picking her up, but he knew that if Darius was to say anything, his whole cover would be blown. He could only hope that business would be more important. He focused on the papers in front of him, looking busy was always better than staring at her.

"Tom, they need you in the studio." Leah said approaching him. He had hardly talked to Leah, she had just started working at G Major when he left, but he knew that she worked under Sadie, covering parts of her first job.

"Sure things." Tommy answered. He didn't want to look up, he wasn't sure if he could do it without his eyes falling on her. But he knew that he had to, and it wasn't until he could see his reflection in the glass door that he realized the sad smile that was pulling at his mouth. He wasn't sad, he was anything but sad. But there it was, just like the day she had left.

"Play it back." Tommy said shaking his head and taking his seat. He wanted to shake the thoughts of her out of his head, he wanted to make his music, to produce music. As he listened to the song, he could feel himself coming back to his senses. Jude was back, just to visit. She had left him, she had done to him what he deserved a hundred times over, but that still didn't make it hurt any less. Now all he needed to do was the same thing when she had first left. He needed to throw himself into the music, he needed to do the only thing he knew how.

"What do you think?" Ian, the engineer he was working with, asked.

"Something about it still isn't fitting together, trying speeding it up again, and make sure the drums sound smoother, not so rough." Tommy said after listening to it again. It was easy to lose himself in work, to forget about her, to forget about his pain.

Both Ian and Tommy looked towards the door as it opened quickly.

"You went to the airport!" Sadie screamed, her hands on her hips. This was the reaction he had expected from Jude, not Sadie.

"Yeah." Tommy said shrugging his shoulder. He wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. He knew that Jude had a life, a new life in London, and he had a life without her as well. They could both be mature adults about her return.

"Why?" Sadie questioned, her eyes getting smaller.

Tommy threw his arms out at her, giving her a head nod he was famous for. "I thought it would be nice to welcome her back."

"I didn't even tell her, I wanted to warn her." Sadie pointed back out the glass door.

Tommy knew what Sadie meant, he wasn't stupid. "Maybe you should have done that before she came back." He rolled his eyes. "Sadie, we're both adults here, I welcomed her back, now I'm going to finish what I came here for."

"Tommy." Sadie looked at him with sad eyes. He knew how much she missed her sister, how much she needed her, he would be dumb not to think that Sadie was hoping Jude would decide to stay in Toronto this time, to move back. "How am I going to tell her?"

"Tell her what?" Tommy asked.

"Tell her that you're staying in her favorite spot in the whole city, the one place she is going to run to the first chance she gets." Sadie explained.

The rehearsal space. Tommy hadn't even thought about that. When Darius had offered him the job producing the Instant Star album, he had gotten a hold of Stuart to see if he could rent Jude's loft. He didn't want to stay in a hotel for the weeks he would be there, and he knew that he would always have a special tie to that place.

"Want me to tell her?" he asked.

"No, no." Sadie shook her head. "You've done enough damage as it is Tommy."

"I haven't done anything." Tommy reminded her.

"I'll tell her." Sadie sighed before turning to leave the studio.

"This is going to be an interesting few weeks," Ian chuckled, turning back to the sound board.

"What's that mean?" Tommy asked, looking annoyed.

"You and Jude man. I am have been a kid back then, but you can't change history." Ian smiled before putting his head phones back on.

Tommy massaged the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes tight. When he had agreed to do the album, he had thought it was going to be painless, easy to come back to Toronto, to all their friends. But there was nothing easy when it came to Jude Harrison.


	3. Chapter 3

"T." he heard Darius calling for him before he had even seen him. He had thought he was the last one in the building, he had watched slowly, as lights went out, doors closed, and people slipped away into the night. But he knew he shouldn't be surprised to see an over worked Sadie, and Daruis coming out of his office.

"Sadie, I want those numbers tomorrow." Darius said as she walked passed them.

Tommy was sure she gave him a warning glance, and he knew it had nothing to do with Darius. Sadie had made it perfectly clear she wanted him to keep his distances from Jude.

"What's up?" he asked, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. Looking at Darius he could see how time was starting to show on his face, the small wrinkles were getting deeper, his skin didn't look as young as it did when Tommy was in Boyz Attack, but Tommy knew he didn't look that young anymore either.

"I just want to make sure this whole thing with Jude, that you're cool with it." When Darius spoke Tommy knew the words formed a question, but his tone of voice wasn't asking. Darius never asked for permission to do anything.

"What's there not to be cool with?" he asked. No matter how he felt about the subject, it wouldn't matter, it wouldn't change anything. Darius wanted Jude, and Tommy knew there was no way of keeping him from what he wanted.

"The album comes first, I hope you know that." Darius smiled.

"Like I could ever forget." Tommy sighed, turning away from him. There were so many things he wanted to say to Darius, so many choice words he could use, but over the years, the most important thing he had learned, so to told his tongue. Reminding Darius that he wasn't a child would only make him mad, and he didn't want to add anymore stress to the work place.

But he knew that going back to the loft now, Jude's rehearsal space, which was a new stress on a new level. He knew that it was the first place Jude was going to want to see, the first thing she was going to want to do with SME was play, and that would be where they would go.

He was relieved to find the space empty, he knew that he needed to clear his head of everything that had happened. Jude was back.

When she had first left he had dreamt of this moment countless times. He had seen her everywhere, in everything. It was easier to think about back then, that she would come back. But now, after so much time, it would only seem normal that things would be different, things had to be different, they were different.

He could hear his phone vibrating from somewhere in the room. There had been a constant stream of phone calls since he had arrived in Toronto. But had couldn't answer them, he never even though about picking them up. But when he heard the music come along with the vibrating, he knew this call was different, this was one of the calls he always answered.

"Hey." His voice was soft

"Tom, honey," her voice was like music to him, and he could feel the tears in his eyes. "Tristan said I needed to call you."

"I just needed to hear your voice." He sighed.

"I'm so sorry, it's been a long time, I can tell." He could hear the sadness. "I hope you know I don't believe all those awful things I say."

"I know, mom, I know." Tommy reassured her. It was so easy for him to picture her in his mind, her sitting on the couch, the phone in one hand and tissue in the other. "I'm glad you called, I'm glad you're you."

"Tom, this place, it's so much, I can't have you doing this." She whispered.

"Mom this is the only way I want to spend my money, if it's going to help you, it's more than worth it." Over a year ago, he had sent his mother to a hospital in Seattle, one that would help her more than a nurse back home. His brother didn't like the idea, the family had wanted to keep her in their family home, but Tommy knew it was time, time to be an adult and take the tougher decisions. There were times when she was more lucid now, times when his mother came back.

"Tom, you should be saving that money, settling down." This was the way their conversations always went, and he knew by the sudden change in her tone he didn't have much longer. "Your brother tells me there is a girl, a sweet girl. I hope you'll treat her better than before. "

"Mom." He could feel the tears sting his eyes, she was slipping away. "I'll be there soon mom, I'll see you soon."

"You don't care to see anyone, all you care about are those friends of yours." He could hear, as the phone was taken away from her, her voice fading into the background.

"I'm sorry," his brothers voice was quick. "She's been coming and going a lot, but I wanted her to talk to you, I wanted you to hear her."

"It's okay, I'm glad her called."

"And I'm sorry its late." Tommy knew it wasn't as late there.

"Tristan, don't worry about it. It means a lot to me." Tommy reassured him. "Today was a rough day all around, so I was glad to hear her."

"Yeah, anything you want to talk about?" his brother asked. They had always had the strongest of relationships, but when Tommy lost Jude, his brother was the only person he could truly turn to.

"No, no." Tommy said quickly. "It's okay, just being back in Toronto." He sighed. "But hey, I need to get some sleep, call when she's lucid again."

"Sure thing," was all he said before the line went dead.

Tommy stared at the phone and allowed one simple tear to roll down his cheek. He didn't like to cry, not alone, not in front of other people, it wasn't him. But hearing her, and hearing how quickly she was gone again, it was hard to take. And it only made it harder to take on top of everything else that was weighing on his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Somewhere between trying to explain to a friend why I was writing this, and why I wanted to pick his male brain, I realized that I didn't care. I can't match Tommy to the way he was on the show, because we rarely got to see much of him, so I'm basing this off, well nothing really. So if it's not Tommy enough, or male enough, I'm sorry, I lost my patients, and gave into my thoughts.  
>But as always, thank you for reading.<p>

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><p>He should been asleep, he wanted to be asleep, but it wasn't going to happen. His mind was full, full of music, full of Jude. Maybe he needed to get a hotel, find a different place to stay. As he laid in that bed, the one he had once shared with her, he knew that it was going to be impossible to just focus on the music.<p>

He pushed the blankets away from him and easy sat up, looking around at all of the things that loft was home too. He had seen SME almost daily since he had been back, they were often at the rehearsal space when he would be getting back from the studio. Their equipment still sat where he had always pictured it, and Wally's newest pet, a scorpion he had named Spike, was glowing under the black light above his cage.

He quickly flipped on the lights and looked for his phone. He searched through his contacts, looking for the name, the one person he knew that would be awake this early.

"Hey." She was always bubbly. "I was just thinking about you."

Tommy couldn't help but laugh. It killed him that she was such a morning person. "Aren't you always thinking about me?"

"If I admitted that your ego would get to big to fit in the studio." She laughed. "What's going on, you're awake way to early."

"Nothing." Tommy sighed. "I thought we might go over some of the songs for the album, see what you want to record."

"You want to work a six in the morning?" she questioned. "You've lost your mind Tom."

"Should I take that as a no then?"

"Of course not." The girl protested quickly. "I'll be there soon, I was just getting ready to go for a run."

Tommy laughed as he hung up the phone. He would give her fifteen minutes, if she wasn't there by then, he would allow his mind to wonder away from the song list.

She had made it well within the fifteen minute time limit he had given himself. He smiled at her as she quickly made herself at home on the old couch. The first time she had been there, he wondered if it should bother him that she could make herself so comfortable there, like it was her home. But he knew that if she knew what the place was, who it belonged to, and what had happened there, she would feel different, she would act differently there.

"So what's the real reason you aren't dead asleep right now?" she asked, as he went to get the list of songs.

"I guess I just have a lot on my mind." Tommy told her. She had always been easy to talk to outside of the studio.

"Tom." Her tone told him that she wouldn't give up until he told her what she wanted to hear.

"May." He laughed handing her a list of songs from previous Instant Star winners. "I called you so we could talk about this."

"It's about her, isn't it." It wasn't a question, he knew that much. She was stating a fact, like she already knew all the details. "I saw the pictures from the airport, they are all over the internet."

It was easy to let everyone think all his stress was due to her, it was easier to think about her than to think about his family. "I picked up an old friend. That's all." Tommy shrugged his shoulders. If he kept saying it, it would be true.

"Right." She rolled her eyes, tossing her long hair behind her back as she looked down at the list. "Of course Karma picked the top selling single."

"And Milo picked the second one." Tommy laughed. "Mason picked Milo's last single."

"That leaves a bunch of crap for me." May rolled her eyes.

"Hey, I helped write some of those." Tommy reminded her. He studied her face, watching as her eyes searched over the list, looking through the ones on the second page. He knew she already had a song in mind, but he was going to have to force it out of her. "Time to Fly, it's a great song." He pointed to Karma's last single.

"It's about her leaving the label, not the direction I want to go in." she sighed.

"What song do you want to do?" Tommy asked, watching as she slowly pushed her lips out into a pout.

"White Lines." She quickly smiled.

Tommy felt like he had just been punch, all the air had been knocked out of him. White Lines, that was a song he had longed to forget, a time in his life he wished he would pack it up in a box and store it somewhere else, somewhere he could forget about it until he was old and gray.

"The words, the sound, everything about that song screams to me." May explained.

"No." he said softly shaking his head. "She hasn't released the rights for it."

"But she's here, we can talk to her, you can talk to her." May was pouting again. "For me?"

"I can't." he stood up and turned his back on her. He couldn't do that. He could already hear her yelling at him for even asking. That song, that song had started something he had thought he put a stop to, something he thought he had under control. He would never be able to produce that song for another person.

"Okay, then I have another idea." He could hear the excitement in her voice still, as though she had expected that reaction, and come up with something different, better.

"What?" he asked, turning around slowly.

"A duet, you and me." She smiled. "We sound amazing together, and you know it."

He nodded his head. He couldn't lie that they sounded good together, their voice complimented each other nicely. "What song?"

"Here We Go Again." She smiled, clapping her hands together.

"May." Tommy groaned, watching as she jumped up from the couch, and started to sing the chorus from the song. Was this his punishment for going to meet Jude at the airport, to be reminded of the pain he had caused her, the tears he had made her cry. He could still remember her face when he had told her they were done, the cell bars separating them.

"Think about it." May laughed stopping in the middle of the room. She smiled softly at him as she walked slowly towards him.

Tommy knew what she was doing, what she wanted. But all it took were the voices in the hallway, and the sound of someone trying to open the locked door to make them both look away from each other.

"Are you expecting someone?" She asked, pointing to the door.

"No, maybe it's some reporter." he shook his head, watching as she went to see who was there.

"I'll take care of it." She laughed, turning to the door.

Tommy could hear May talking, but he couldn't make out what she was saying. He knew that if it was a report, she would have slammed the door shut by now. The curiosity was starting to bother him. "Who's at the door?" he asked walking towards the half open door. As he reached for the door, to open it farther, he stopped, looking back at Jude.

"Jude?" he asked, he could tell that she was just as confused as he was.

"Tommy." She whispered back.

Why was she always showing up? Popping back into his life when he was so sure that he had everything under control, that he could get through a whole month without thinking about her, without searching her name online.


	5. Chapter 5

So sorry it took so long to update, I've almost finished writing the story. But as we all know, life tends to get crazy right before summer break and with 17 preschoolers its pure madness. Thank you sheyshine and im-p for the reviews, and thank you to everyone else that is reading!

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><p>"Seriously." Tommy shouted, throwing open Sadie's door. He saw her sitting in front of her computer, her whole office smelled like coffee. He knew it was a Harrison addiction, their house always smelled of coffee, and the smell always reminded him of the blonde sisters.<p>

"What?" she looked back, startled.

"I thought you said you were going to tell Jude, warn her." Tommy was annoyed, he was more than annoyed, he was mad. Sadie had told him she would take care of it, and he was sure she had also mentioned it was one of the first places her sister would run to. Why hadn't she taken care of it?

"I tried too, but all she could do last night was try and not think about you." Sadie rolled her eyes. "Serves you right for showing up at the airport like that."

"I didn't mean any harm by that." Tommy sighed, sinking into one of her chairs. Jude had been thinking about him, he couldn't help it, but it made him smile to think of her, thinking about him.

"Yeah, right." Sadie rolled her eyes. "You two are drawn to each other like magnets, it's rather sickening."

"We aren't those people in anymore. We've both grown up." Tommy reminded her. Sitting him straighter in the chair. He wanted his words to be believable, he didn't want the smile on his face to give away his thoughts.

"Tommy, it took you all but two hours to get under my sisters skin again, and she has spent the last five years trying to get rid of you." He could tell that Sadie was annoyed.

"She hasn't been back for 24 hours, I can't be under her skin because I haven't done anything." He didn't understand how he could have affected her that much in the short amount of time they had spent together. They had hardly spoke in the car, and only greeted each other briefly at the airport. But it hurt to think that she wanted to be over him, because he had known for a long time that he would never be able to just get over her. She was the girl that had touched his heart, changed him, and that wasn't something he could forget, or get over.

"That's the point Tommy, with her, you don't have to do anything, you just have to be you." Sadie explained.

"Sadie, I'm just trying to produce a record." Tommy shouted, "So next time don't tell me you're going to take care of something, if you don't plan on actually taking care of it." He said more calmly. He didn't want to be angry with her, he knew that it was a hard subject to talk about, their relationship had been hard to understand.

"I'm sorry."

He felt like the bad guy as he looked at her, seeing the shock in her eyes for how angry he had gotten.

"I know it's not easy on you either, having her come back all of the sudden." Sadie whispered.

Tommy looked away from her, he couldn't look at her. She was Jude's sister, she couldn't understand the pain it had caused him to watch her leave, the pain it caused to see her again. "It's fine." He said focusing on a picture of Sadie and Kwest from their wedding.

"Fine?" he could hear the laugher in her voice. "Tommy, I'd be furious, I'd be looking for an explanation."

"That's the difference Sadie, I'm not you." Tommy commented, pushing himself roughly up from the chair. "I deserved what she did, I'm fine with all of it." And with that he left her office, knowing that she eyes followed him down the hallway, unbelieving.

He didn't need an explanation. He understood perfectly why Jude had to go alone. He was the one that needed to explain things to her, to apologize for putting her in that situation. She was only a kid, she had always been a kid, and he had wanted her to grow up way before her time. He knew it was wrong of him to expect that from her. She had never been on her own, and she needed to learn that she could fall and pick herself back up. He remembered what it was like to be that age, vaguely. He had been on the road, married, falling in and out of lust with girls in each city, throwing his life away, and learning. He knew that she needed to find her own way, and she couldn't do that married to Little Tommy Q from Boyz Attack. When she had left was when he realized what he had done. He was trying to give her the same life he had, going through the same thing he did, marrying young. He couldn't have done that to her, and for that, he was grateful that she left him.

He sat in front of the soundboard. He had mindless walked into the studio. He knew that he couldn't do any real work today, not with the message he had gotten from Darius, but he also couldn't bring himself to go back to the loft, not when he knew that she was there. It would have been too much to take. He sighed as he watched the screen, the lines moving slowly, together. He was looking for the perfect spot in the song, the part where all the music seemed to become one, each instrument blending together in perfect harmony. That was the nice thing about music, it was always easy to understand, not like the female mind, or even his own.

He glanced up at the door when he heard the lock click into place.

"Is this the music for Mason?" May asked, taking the empty chair.

"No, Darius doesn't want me doing anything on the album until he gets his answer from Jude." Tommy said softly, trying to listen for the sound.

"Jude." May sighed. "She seems to be pretty important to everyone around here."

Tommy glanced at her from the corner of his eye, he could make out the slight jealousy in her tone. "Hey, don't, don't go there." He had to stop, there was no way he could find the sound he was looking for with her sitting there like that, looking like a puppy that got left in the rain.

"How can I not Tom?" May asked. "She's amazing, I have no problem admitting that, she was nominated for best artist of the year."

"Yeah, but if you sit here, and try to compare her to yourself, it's only going to bring you down. I don't want to see you do that to yourself." Tommy gave her a small smile. His relationship with May, no his friendship with her, was something that couldn't be explained. When she had won Instant Star, he was determined to dislike her, to dislike anyone that reminded him of Jude, and even though she came across as more of a diva, in the studio, he saw she was more like Jude, just trying to make it. "Jude's been doing this for a long time, you've barely started."

"Yeah, but she's not even an artist here anymore, and I'm watching as everyone is bending over backwards for her." May sighed.

"No one is bending, no one but D has even done anything." He tried to make her feel better. But he could see it on her face, she had no intentions of believing her words.

"Tom, don't kid yourself, don't try and kid me." She shifted in the chair. "You went to the airport, Darius has got Big Lou watching her, she's showing up at your loft at eight in the morning."

"It's her loft." Tommy said looking away from her. He had always known that May didn't like his connection with the super star, at least on a personal level, but when it came to her music, she saw it as a stepping stone to following in her footsteps.

"What?"

"It's her old rehearsal space, when D asked me to come back for the album, I asked her dad if I could rent the place." Tommy explained.

He heard her sigh, out of anger and disappointment. "You know you could have stayed with me, you still can."

He turned to look at her, and he saw it written all over her face. She was so easy to read, and that was something that had always bothered him about her. She was like a book, not hiding anything, not trying to keep anything hidden. "You know I won't go down that road."

She sighed, this time annoyed. "Why?"

He couldn't answer, he didn't have one.

"Because of her, it's always because of her." She softly shouted at him. "Why can't you see that she has already changed everything?"

"She hasn't changed anything, why can't you see that?" Tommy asked, this time annoyed. He knew that a diva was on its way, he could see it coming. "You're the one that doesn't get it."

"Right, I don't get it, because I'm just some girl, I don't know anything." She shoved her chair back when she stood up, sending it flying and crashing into the other wall.

"I've got things to do." Tommy rolled his eyes, and turned away from her. He didn't need to see her storm out of the room, tears falling, it was something he had seen enough of in his life time. He had only worked on one album with her, before his contract with G Major ended, but it was enough.


	6. Chapter 6

Seeing her peacefully sleeping made him feel like he had just stepped back in time. She looked so natural on the G Major sofa, just like she had years ago, when the late nights had dragged on. It was his natural instinct that had taken over, covering her up, offering to take her to get her phone. It was like they had already fallen back into the same pattern, they were back to where they had always been, and it felt effortless.

But now, he knew that he was the only one that had felt that way. He had let the word slip, he hadn't even been thinking, and that made him angry. He had called her girl, and he heard her tone change when she spoke.

"I'm here for a break Tommy, that's what my label wants." She sighed after a slight pause that made him know she had caught his mistake. "I just want Darius to see that, I'm not his puppet anymore, I'm a real artist."

Her words were strong, different from the girl he had known. She sounded like he knew she always would one day, a real rock star, not wanting to be controlled by anyone, only by her music.

"The album is due in four weeks, you should remember how stressed out he gets towards the of production." He glanced at her, and knew that she remembered, that she was just putting up a strong font.

"I remember, but he could at least give me a few days to see everyone, to do what I need to do, before forcing me into the studio." She sighed, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to do it, I knew after what you said this morning, I have to do it."

That was the girl her knew, the one that was looking to please people, to make things easier. "You don't have to Jude." He wanted her to understand, he wanted her to see that she did have a real choice here, and he didn't want her to feel like she had to be there. "You should only do it, if you truly want to do it."

The rest of the ride to the loft was silent. He had wanted her to comment on what he had said, he wanted her to say anything, listening to her talk, it was so easy. When they got to the loft, he waited while she went in to get her phone, part of him wanted to follow her, to make sure she made it there and back safely, but he knew that wasn't his place anymore.

"Sorry for all the running around." She sighed, getting back into the car, her eyes focused on the phone, running through missed calls.

"It's not an issue." Tommy gave her a smile, knowing she was looking. It was the only safe time he could do that. "Where to now?"

"Home," she sighed. "Looks like my family dinner will have to wait." She sighed holding up her phone, showing a message from Sadie.

Tommy nodded his head, and pulled back onto the road. "So, any plans while you're here?" he needed to make light conversation, the air in the car was starting to feel uncomfortable.

She shook her head, "None really, I hadn't planned on coming, I only bought the ticket three days ago." Her voice had a tint of amusement in it. "I'll hang out at NBR I guess, spend time with Jamie. Hang out with SME."

"Yeah," Tommy nodded, thinking about to the phone call he had received the day before. "Jamie and Kwest really have proven everyone wrong, NBR making a name for itself."

"Well it is Kwest and Jamie." Jude laughed. "I might try and see if I can get in touch with Kat, since I'm here." The last part was soft, almost like she was embarrassed.

Kat. That was a name Tommy hadn't heard in a long time. Jude's high school friend had been out of her life for so long, Tommy wasn't even sure if he could recognize the girl if he saw her now. The last he had heard, she had left Toronto for a fashion school, but how long ago had that been?

"I guess it's a good thing D wants me to produce, otherwise I really wouldn't have anything to do." Jude laughed, trying to make a joke.

"How long are you going to make him sweat it?" Tommy wondered.

"Not long, just a day or two." Jude smiled at him, and he couldn't help but smile back at her. "What fun would it be if I just gave him what he wanted?"

"Wouldn't be your style for sure." Tommy laughed. The two of them joked and talked until they pulled up in front of her childhood home.

"Thanks Tommy." She smiled as he opened the car door for her.

"Not a problem Harrison." He nodded his head at her. "Just try and remember your phone next time." He watched as she walked towards the open door, Sadie waiting, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her foot tapping on the welcome rug, reminding him of a mother, not a sister.

Jude looked back and nodded at him, and Tommy gave her one last smile.

"Tom, wait." Sadie said once Jude was inside the house.

He watched, from the front of the car, as she quickly made her way towards him.

"What?" he asked, knowing what was coming.

"She's seeing someone." Sadie gave him a sad look, but it was her words that made his heart drop.

It took him a second to recover from her words, to gather his mind enough to make a simple remark that would make him indifferent to the statement. "Your point?" he asked.

"I just don't want to see either of you do something stupid." She whispered, and he could see her concern, not just for her sister, but for him too.

"Sadie," he sighed, trying to convince himself of the words he was going to speak. "Jude and I, we're not the same people, we're both living different lives now." He turned to leave, to get back into the safety of his car, somewhere where she couldn't see the pain and confusion that quickly took him over. He knew the only thing he could do was distance himself from her.


	7. Chapter 7

It was the first day Jude had been back, working at G Major. Everyone that had been there when she was an artist, seemed happy to have her back, to watch her inhale the caffeine, to hear her laugh, the one that seemed to fill the whole lobby, everyone but Tommy. Sadie's words still played over and over in his head, and when he saw her, he couldn't help but feel the surge of angry emotions.

He had known that she would move on, it was only natural, what he expected. But it was easier to think about it when he didn't have to see her. Now that she was here, in front of him again, it changed everything he had thought, everything he felt. He had allowed himself to be the Tommy he was when he was with Jude, it had only taken her a few moments to kick down every wall he had placed around himself, but it only took one sentence from Sadie to put it right back up. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't going to do this to himself, or to her.

Tommy looked down at the paper and May handed him. "What is this?" he asked, slightly annoyed with the fact that she had bought a tabloid magazine.

"The latest pictures to surface of you and miss rock star." May rolled her eyes. He should feel her eyes on him as he looked down at the pictures, Jude sitting in the passenger side of his Viper.

"This was three days ago." He handed it back to her. "I don't need to see pictures of something I did, my memories are perfectly fine." He turned to go into his studio, studio A.

"You're playing with my emotions, and I don't really care for it." May said, sitting down on the couch.

"Playing with your emotions?" Tommy laughed. "The only thing I'm playing with is the sound board."

"And my heart," she added.

"What happened to your crush on Wally?" Tommy wondered. When he had left Toronto, and a tearful May, Speiderman had kept him up to date on the happenings of the people within their lives, and he had heard many stories of the two.

"Karma's husband's friend?" she rolled her eyes. "He was some lame attempt to try and make you jealous, so you would come running back here, realizing how much you loved me."

Tommy couldn't help but laugh at the girl. She was so confident of herself, and would never to try anything from him. At first it had been refreshing about her, the way she had just told him she liked him, but it quickly became too much, and at most times awkward because he never did return her feelings.

"At least my honest about what I want."

"Don't start on what it is you think I want." Tommy leaned back, rocking in the chair. He knew that she did it in a joking manner, but he also know, with Jude's reappearance that she would take it farther than he needed it to go.

"I don't know what you want, that's the problem." She tilted her head while she looked at him, as though looking at a different angle would show her something new, something she didn't already know.

"Why don't we talk about the song you're going to do." He knew this would make her happy.

"We've been given the go?" May suddenly perked up. Tommy had given up trying to get her to chose a song, and Darius didn't seem to have any input on the matter, he just wanted something, something good. So Tommy had taken the idea of May writing her own song to him, and to Tommy's surprise, he agreed.

"D wants a rough copy by the end of the week." Tommy nodded.

"Oh my gosh." May said pushing herself off the couch. "I have to write an amazing song. You have to help me."

"That is sort of my job." Tommy watched as she paced around the room. He couldn't help but laugh at her again, seeing her so excited and nervous at the same time, it was something he loved about her. He knew that he wasn't in love with May, when they first started working together, he wasn't even sure if he liked her. But with the more time they spent together, the more they seemed to just fit together. She was an amazing artist, and a sweet girl. She didn't have the drama in her life that other woman from Tommy's past had. She didn't have daddy issues, or problems with trust. When Tommy tried to describe the type of person she was once to his brother, he had used the words down to earth. And that's what she was.

"Why don't you start with some ideas, for your song." He suggested.

"Right." May stopped and smiled at him. "You're amazing, thank you for doing this." He leaned down to hug him, kissing his cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

"Squinty frown." Spedierman joked, coming up to Tommy in the small kitchen area of the G Major lobby. He was still the same kid had always been. After Jude had left, he had seek out Tommy, to make sure that he was okay, saying that this was what Jude would have wanted him to do, for them to finally try and get along. Tommy knew that it was hard for Speid to lose Jude as well, they had become close friends, and artists that relied on each other. Tommy couldn't say that they had formed a friendship, but more of an understanding, like the one he formed with Jamie on the day he asked Jude to marry him.

"Vincent." Tommy responded, knowing it bothered him when people used his first name. He smiled at the questioning look he got.

"Playing dirty today, I see. But I'm here in peace." Speid said raising his hands as though they were white flags. "I'm here to get milady, and my dude."

"Your dude?" Tommy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well yeah, Jude is my favorite dude, therefore making her my dude." He explained as though it should have been obvious to anyone. "Like when she was your girl."

The way he said it made Tommy cringe. He didn't want to remember his slip up, his mistake. He wanted to strangle Speidermen for even saying it. But he was able to give him a look, a simple glare that showed he shouldn't go there, even close to that subject. He was after all known for his icy, angry looks.

"Wow, okay." Speid laughed. "I'll leave the playing dirty for another day, when you're in a better mood."

"I think your wife is still in with Eric." Tommy said nodding towards studio B. He could see Jude across the lobby, and he didn't want the conversation to continue in that direction, not when she could easily over hear them.

"And my dude?" Speid laughed.

Tommy watched as Jude walked towards them smiling.

"She's like this tall, blonde hair, big eyes, bigger ego." Speid laughed as Jude was within ear shot.

"Leave my ego alone." She said hugging him, and give a small nod to Tommy.

"How's the first day going?" Speid asked.

Tommy watched her face from a split second, before having to turn to stare at something, anything that wasn't here.

"It's' been good, the studio's are different though, I'm relearning my way around." Jude smiled.

"Good, I'll go grab Karma, and we can meet the guys for lunch." Speid said, turning and giving Tommy a look, an act now look.

"Hey." Jude said softly, putting his empty coffee mug down on the counter.

Tommy glanced at her, scared that if he let his eye linger to long, he wouldn't be able to look away from her. He needed to be strong, and the only thing he could do for that, was to replay Sadie's words in his head. 'She's seeing someone.'

"It's weird." Jude said turning to lean against the counter like him.

Tommy could almost feel his heart jump, at the knot formed in his throat. "What is?" he asked, trying hard to not have emotion in his tone, to be indifferent, that was what he wanted.

"When I first got here, I thought everything was the same, I mean everything out here looks the same." He could see her looked around the lobby. "But as soon as I walked into the studio, talked with some of the artists, the other producer, Eric, and Ian, it just made everything look different."

"Yeah, D made a lot of changes after you left, after I left." Tommy nodded. He understood what she meant. Looking around you would think that everything was the same, but it was the people that truly made up the environment, and after Kwest, Jude, and Tommy left, he replaced them with others, and that changed everything.

"It's good though, to see that things change." Jude smiled slightly.

"Yeah, good." Tommy said softly. He didn't want to admit that he hadn't wanted anything to change, he didn't want her to change, but they both had. Time changes everything.

"Tommy?" May called, sticking her head out of the studio door.

Tommy wasn't sure if he should be thankful for her at the moment, or annoyed. Part of him wanted to stand there next to Jude, and just watch the people coming and going, but at the same time he knew he was pushing his limits, testing his own strengths. "I've got work to do." He said before quickly pushing off the counter, and leaving her standing there, alone. He couldn't test it any longer.


	9. Chapter 9

Tommy had tried his hardest to avoid her after that day. He couldn't trust himself to stay indifferent, the longer she was there, the harder it became for him. He knew that he could be mean, he could act the way he had before, but it didn't seem right, he couldn't be that guy, not to her, not again.

He was frustrated, and it was become apparent in his work. He looked down at May's song, the guitar in his hands, it wasn't working, nothing about the song was working, and that only added to his anger. He had wanted this to be easy, a simple distraction, something to keep his mind busy, but it wasn't working.

He put it hand up, signaling May to stop singing. They weren't making any progress.

"What?" she asked.

"I need a new set of eyes to look at this." He sighed in defeat, putting the guitar down, and picking up the sheets of paper. He had seen Speiderman and Karma leave Jude's booth, leaving her alone. "I'll be back in a few, order lunch."

"Yeah." May smiled at him.

Tommy stood outside of the door, watching her. She looked so happy, the smile on her face was one he remembered, one she had when she was listening to something perfect, something mood changing. It made him happy to see her like that, it made him feel comfortable.

"Glad to see you still remember how to use a soundboard." He joked, opening the door.

"Something's are hard to forget." She smiled. He loved her smile because it was always so real. "Karma's song should be done soon and ready for the final mixing."

"That's good, cause I need your help." Tommy said sitting down next to her. It was easy to slip back into the old him, the him who's world revolved around the girl in front of him.

"Little Tommy Q needs my help?" she asked, and he could see how easy it was for her to slip back into being that girl, his Jude.

"Yeah, we're trying to fix the bridge in this song, and I'm coming up blank." He couldn't do it, he couldn't allow himself to see her as his anymore, because she wasn't, she hadn't been his for a long time. "It's May's final song, and it just isn't working."

"May?" he could hear the accusation in her voice. He could see the slightest tint of pain in her eyes, and it was so easy for them to sit there and stare at each other, taking in the feature they had both longed to see.

"Yeah, you gonna look at the song, or stare at him like he kicked your puppy?" May asked, Tommy wasn't sure when she had come into the room, but it was her presence that helped bring him back to reality. There was something about being in the studio that made everything feel different, as though it was a different world.

"I'll look it over, but I've got to work on the music for Karma's song, she's recording this afternoon." Tommy could see her expression harden a bit, and it made him smile. She had always been such a hard worker.

"That's all we're asking for. And you know, I'd be glad to give the music a listen, help put it all together." He wanted to stay there, next to her, he wanted to keep studying her face, finding all the new things about her.

"It's okay, I've got it covered. I'll look this over when I go to lunch." She quickly sat the papers down, and he watched as her happy eyes seemed to turn back into the scared unsure ones she had at the airport. It stung to see her change so quickly, to think that he was the reason for her mood change.

"I'm really excited about this, having Jude Harrison look at one of my songs; it's like a dream or something." May smiled brightly, not picking up on Jude's mood change.

"Yeah, it'll be great." Tommy could pick up on her fake tone, it was one he knew well. "Now, I've really got to get this put together, I don't want a Karma fit."

"No one wants one of those." Tommy laughed getting out of the chair, he could tell she wanted to be alone, but he wanted to offer to help her. "And remember, I'm here if you need anything." That was all he could offer her. He put his hand on May's back, pushing her out of the studio. "I asked you to stay." He whispered in her ear.

"And let you give my song over to your ex." May smiled. "Funny."

"I'm not giving it to anyone, I'm seeking help, when help is needed." Tommy said as they entered the studio together.

"Well I ordered lunch, Thai."

"I don't feel like eating here now." Tommy sighed, grabbing his leather jacket off the couch.

"What?" May asked, blocking the door.

"I am going to go see Kwest." He said looking at her, waiting for her to move. When the air of the lobby hit him, the reality of what he had done suck in. He had asked Jude to look at a song, a song for another girl. What was he thinking? Speiderman and Kwest had both warned him about working with her again, about going down that road. One of them seemed to think it was a good idea, while the other way still thought Tommy should keep his distance. The two men were like the angel and devil that sat on his shoulder, speaking into his ear. And that made it hard for Tommy to know what he thought.

As he walked out of back door of G Major, into the empty alley way, he slapped the brick wall softly. He wasn't going to drag Jude back into his life, he didn't want her sucked back into his mess. And he knew that she had her own life, a good life. But why, why did they both have to be back at the same time? It was so hard for him to not want her, to not want to be next to her, watching her, helping her, working with her. But saying that he couldn't do that to her was so much easier than actually doing it. He was selfish and he knew that.


	10. Chapter 10

He didn't want to tell her, or explain any of it to her. Because he knew, and knowing was all he needed. The two songs that May had wanted to do were off limits. Even Darius raised an eyebrow when Tommy told him. But telling Jude, it made him see their past flash in her eyes. He had expected her to be upset, to be mad, but she sat there, and being her normal Jude self, she jumped right in and saved the day, coming up with a new idea, a new way to sell an old song.

"What do you think about My Sweet Time?" May asked. He could read the uncertainty on her face, and he knew she wanted his approval.

"It's a good song, we can make it fit you." Tommy remembered the first time he had heard the song. He was so mad at Jude, she wouldn't play ball, she couldn't see that they were losing everything, and the song Stupid Girl seemed to fit her perfectly that day. But had had to admit it was a good song, everything she felt on her first tour was wrapped up in that song. "We can get SME to lay the tracks, or pull from the original."

"Whatever you think is best." May beamed.

He glanced down as May put both hands on his knees. He swallowed hard and looked up at Jude when she spoke.

"It's a great song."

The soft smile that she gave him, made him know that she needed this just as much as he did. He couldn't have bared to hear someone else sing White Lines, and he knew she wasn't ready to go down that road. He watched her blond hair bounce as she walked away, hurriedly to join Sadie. When she was out of sight, he pushed May's hands away and turned towards the soundboard.

"What?" May asked with a smirk.

"Don't, not tonight." He said shrugging her hands off his shoulder when he felt it. "You need to look over the song, we need to figure out what sort of sound you want to do with it."

"It's always business with you." She sighed.

"That's the type of relationship we have, business." Tommy told her.

"I know I'm not Jude, but sooner or later, you're going to have to admit that you love me." May laughed.

It was times like this, when she made comments like that, that made Tommy know he could never love her. She was so ready to give it away, and he quickly handed it back to her. "What I love," Tommy smiled at her, "is getting my job done."

"All work and no play makes Tom a bore." May smiled and gave him a quick wink. "I'm going to go pull the song, I'll see you later."

Tommy rolled his eyes as she left the room. As he sat there, he became more and more amazed that May had taken the song, that she believed that Jude was giving her a perfect song to do. He knew that she had heard the song, looked it over, and quickly crossed it off her list. But he knew not to try and understand the power that the Harrison woman had, they were like super heroes, able to sweep in quickly and fix things, change things to fit them better. He laughed as he thought about the anger displayed on Jude's face when he told her the two songs May had wanted to do.

In the morning, he stood in line at the coffee shop, scrolling through his contacts. He knew it was early, but he needed SME to come in, they needed to lay down her tracks, change the tempo of the song.

"It's early for you, did you run out of hair gel?" Spiedmen asked, answering his phone.

"I don't do jokes in the morning." Tommy sighed back.

"You don't do jokes any time of day." Was the response Tommy got.

"Still not laughing." Tommy him was surprised that Speiderman was up this early.

"Okay, so what's up Quincy, you didn't call just to chat." He laughed.

"We're doing My Sweet Time, I need you guys to come in." Tommy told him, moving up slowly in the line.

"Can't do it." Speid told him.

"What do you mean you can't?" Tommy didn't like being told no, not by anyone.

"I've been summoned to the rehearsal space by the dude. She's got some song she wants to work out." Speid laughed. "I don't go against the dude."

"No, no you don't," Tommy smiled, thinking about Jude sitting in the rehearsal space playing her guitar, working through the hard parts of a song. "Alright, well come by when you can, I want to get the tracks down."

"Sure thing Quincy." Speid yawned. "I hope you stoked up on coffee."

Tommy didn't say anything else, he was now in the front of the line, and he knew he didn't have any coffee at the loft; he wasn't even sure what kind of mess he had left the space in. But he knew that they wouldn't notice, it was always a mess there. He quickly ordered his coffee and another with an extra shot in it. He knew she would need it.

He stood in the door way, leaning on the frame, watching her. She would push her hair back and sigh out of frustration every time she would come up empty handed. He could hear her muttering to herself, annoyed comments about him.

"Find what you're looking for?" he finally asked. She looked even more radiant in the morning, even if she was frustrated.

"You don't have coffee. How can you not have coffee?" he looked at the empty coffee pot, it wasn't even plugged in.

"I don't need it the way you do." He laughed, handing her the starbucks cup. "I figured you'd need this." He could see the confusion on her face, she hadn't told him she was going to be there. "I tried to call Spiederman this morning, to see if he could come in, but he said he had strict orders to meet you here, something about a new song." He raised an eyebrow, wondering if she would tell him more.

"You're a godsend." She smiled at him, and he saw the happy look she got, knowing she was feeding her addiction. "And sorry, it was just a spur of the moment thing, I promise you can have him this afternoon, I just need some SME time."

Tommy understood, he wasn't looking for an apology, he didn't need one from her for anything. "You always loved your band." He knew that if he stayed much longer he would never leave. It was so easy to be there with her, to talk about music, and he had to admit, he was more than curious to know about this new song of hers, but he couldn't press the matter.

"You can't fight chemistry." She smiled at him. He knew it was true, they couldn't fight it, but they both had too. He gave her a small nod before turning and leaving the loft. Maybe he really needed to think about getting a hotel room.


	11. Chapter 11

"Mason comes in tomorrow." Tommy sighed, looking down at the food in front of him. He glanced around the small restaurant before smiling over at May. "He's only going to be here long enough to record, so we'll focus on your song when we've got his done."

"I'm so excited, I can't wait to get in there and actually sing, it feels like it's been forever." May was stabbing the salad on her plate.

"I've got all the tracks laid down, and I told Jude she could work on Mason's." Tommy informed her, only to watch as her eyes narrowed at the mention of Jude's name.

"Don't." May said, her lips becoming tight.

"Don't what?" Tommy asked, unsure of why she was becoming so angry.

"Don't bring her up, not when we're out, having a perfectly good meal." She pushed her plate away and rolled her eyes.

Tommy sighed in frustration.

"I'm sorry, but I'd like to have one nice meal with you, without being reminded that she's back." May shook her head.

"Why does it matter to you if she's back or not?" Tommy questioned.

"Because, I love you." May whispered. "Why do you have to act so dense all of the time."

He wasn't sure what to say to her, he wanted to believe that he had heard her wrong. She loved him? He had always known that her feelings were stronger than his own, she had always been open about that. But he knew she had never used those words.

"Don't sit there and act like you didn't know." He could see the tears pooling in her eyes, turning them a softer shade of brown. "I can act all excited and happy that she's back, that she's letting me do one of her songs, but I can't lie about how I feel every time you say her name, and the way you look at her."

"May." He started, unsure of what to tell her. "I-we aren't."

"I know, Tom." She brushed a falling tear away. "But I always figured one day, you'd be ready, and I'd be here. Waiting for you is easy, but not when she's around."

"I never asked you to wait for me." Tommy whispered. He could see people looking at them, watching the scene unfold, and he didn't want any more drama, or pictures.

"You'd never have to ask me Tom, I'm willingly doing this to myself." Her voice was harsh. "Is it so wrong that I thought, someday, you'd pick me?"

Tommy could understand. She had never hid her feelings, and in return he had never honestly told her no, or that he wasn't interested. Because, if he was honest with himself, maybe he did always figure that he would turn to her when he was ready, when he was finally able to let her go. But in the time that he had known her, there had never been a time that he was ready to let go of Jude, or the idea he had of their future together. Even now with her back, and knowing that she was with someone else, he wasn't sure if he was ready. "May, you know how amazing you are, you're beautiful, and you don't need me to tell you that. You're smart, and talented. There is so much out there for you, so much beyond G Major."

"And?" she asked, she was always able to tell when there was something he was holding back.

He hesitated, he didn't want to say it, he hadn't said it for years, but he knew this was the only way to make her see, to make her understand. "And I love her." He whispered looking down. "I'm not sure if I am ever going to have enough room in my heart for anyone else. I'm sorry."

When he glanced back up at her, he could see the tears falling freely, but a slight crazed smile tugged at her lips. He knew that she would be able to quickly recover, they were in public, she wouldn't play the drama queen for long with people watching.

"Okay." She whispered, using her napkin to brush the tears away. "I'm going to the bathroom, I need to fix my make-up. Then I want ice-cream."

"I'll call ahead, make sure they stay open." Tommy nodded, watching as she left the table. if there was a way he could have done that without hurting her, he would have. He didn't want to cause he any pain, and he knew he should have dealt with it long ago, he should have told her before he even left Toronto that his heart belonged to someone else. But he hadn't, and he couldn't come up with any excuses to make it any better. He couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong with him, or if that was just the way men were in general. It was easier to think it was all men, he had been told many times that all men were jerks, but sometimes he couldn't help but wonder.

When May came back to the table, she looked just as she did when he picked her up. But he could see the sadness in her eyes, and he knew that she would break down the minute she got home.

"Did you call?" she asked.

"Yeah, they're open until midnight." Tommy nodded.

"Then we've got plenty of time." She smiled. "How's the music coming for Mason's song? Did you finally get the right sound on the drums?"

This was what amazed him about the women he allowed in his life. They could sit there, and act as though nothing had happened, as though nothing had changed, when everything had. He knew that his words had hurt her, a great deal more than he could ever comprehend. But she sat there, as though the whole conversation never happened, as though he hadn't' admitted to loving Jude, as though he hadn't broken her own heart. He was grateful that May was the way she was, because it was always awkward and tense after moments like that. Tommy could remember dates that had ended badly, and driving the girls home was always the worse part of the night.


	12. Chapter 12

"Mason!" Tommy covered his hears as Jude squealed his name, hugging the cowboy.

"Hey." Mason laughed hugging her back. "It's good to see you, it's been way to long."

"You have no idea." Jude laughed.

It made Tommy to see her so happy. "Hey Mason," Tommy smiled at him.

"Tom, good to see you." Mason said shaking his hand.

When Mason's third album was done, Darius had offered to sign him for another album, but Mason wanted to leave G Major to move to Nashville, it was the real place for country music. He wasn't doing amazing there, but he was doing well enough to get by. The music scene in America was harder to break into.

"How long as you staying?" Jude asked, pulling his attention back to her, making Tommy laugh.

"Just long enough to get the song done, a few days or so." Mason smiled.

"Then I suggest we get in there." Tommy said nodding towards the studio. "You two set up, I'll let D know you made it." He knew they needed more time together, time to catch up, to chat.

The afternoon seemed to pass quickly, and Tommy and Jude both sat watching Mason as he sang, it was easy for them to work together now.

"Mason, take a break, you're getting to high in the middle." Tommy said turning off the playback.

"He sounded good, and it's his fifth take, you can't blame him for slipping up." Jude shook her head.

"Which is why he needs a break." Tommy looked at her. She had been smiling when she came in that morning, and hadn't seemed to stop. "What's with all the smiling? You're starting to creep me out."

"What?" she asked. "Sorry, I'm just in a good mood, I enjoyed yesterday morning with SME."

"Yeah, and they laid down some good track yesterday." He laughed as well. "They are easier to work with when you're around." He knew that was the truth. The boys were normally as moody as a group of teenage girls, but ever since Jude had been back, they had been back to their old selves, and that made them easier to work with.

"What can I say, I bring out the best in them." she said taking one of his red licorices from the package.

Why he did it, he'll never know, but it just felt right, and natural. He didn't need to think about his action, he just acted. He leaned over her, his hands resting in her arm rests, he could feel his heart seep up being this close to her, being able to smell her perfume. "You bring out the best in everything." He whispered into her ear, pulling back to look in her eyes, and he could see the surprise, she wasn't able to react, and he was sure he could hear her heart speed up. "But not enough to eat my licorice." He smiled, biting down on the candy in her hand, pulling it away. It was so easy to tease her like that, she easily stepped into his trap.

He watched her, as it took her a moment to recover from how close they were, it made his own head spin to be that close to her.

"You're not funny." She sounded annoyed.

"Oh, I'm hilarious." He smiled, the candy hanging out of his mouth.

"I can be just as funny then." He watched as she approached him, just as he did, her lips biting down on the other end of the candy, and he couldn't hold onto it, having her that close was making him tingle.

"Hysterical." He whispered. He could feel his hand reaching for her back, to try and keep her there. He wanted to kiss her, he was sure he could almost feel the heat of her lips and he slowly moved his face closer to hers. And he knew that she felt it too, he could see it on her face, she wasn't pulling away from him.

But it all happened so quickly, the voice from behind him, the curse word he muttered under his breath as she pulled away, and he could feel the moment sucked away from them.

"Oz, what are you doing here?" he watched as the boy in the door way wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him, giving him a quick look. Tommy felt the sudden and strong dislike for him, seeing were his hands touched her.

"I had a few reason." He said glaring back at Tommy, before kissing Jude.

It only made Tommy's hate flare, and his anger raise, he could feel his blood boil, rush to his face at the sight of this boy.

"Sorry, Tom this is Ozzie, my lead guitarist, Oz, this is Tom Quincy, my-" Tommy could see that she wasn't sure what word to use to describe him.

"Co-producer." He offered. He knew it was hard to explain their relationship; their past was a colorful one. It would have pleased him endlessly to use the words ex fiancé, old lovers, anything to show the hold he once had on Jude. But thinking that, and knowing that he didn't still have that hold made him feel sick.

"Yes, I know who you are." The boy said, shaking Tommy's hand. Tommy knew that his grip was too tight, but he couldn't control it, his anger was greater than he was. He needed to escape the room, escape the sight of his arms around Jude's waist.

"I'm going to go check on Mason, see if he's ready to give it another go." It was his only escape, his only way out. Just seconds ago he was about to kiss her, to pull her to him, but now, he was reminded of why he couldn't do that, why he had wanted to be indifferent, why he needed to be indifferent. He wasn't his Jude, she was Oz's Jude now, and that killed him.

The hot summer air didn't help cool him down. But the fresh air, and the sounds of an alive city did bring him back to reality. Being inside the studio was like living in a different world almost. Nothing else mattered but what was in the studio, Jude. He quickly replayed Sadie's words, reminding himself that Jude was seeing someone, but it didn't seem to matter any. He had admitted it, he had told May just the night before that he still loved Jude, and he knew it would take a long time before he could bottle those feelings back up. But right now, love didn't seem to have him under any spell, his anger and hate for a man he hardly knew were the only things that occupied his mind. That and the imagine of him putting his arms around Jude.

His head jerked up when he heard the alley door creek open. Sadie was standing in the doorway, and concern and worry was all over her face.

"Tom?" she asked, approaching slowly.

"I'm fine Sadie, I just needed some air." He said through clenched teeth. He had allowed himself to feel again, and that made him angry.

"Should we talk about something else?" She asked. "It's still Jude related, but its something happy."

"If you're going to tell me she's getting married, then no." Tommy could feel the anger and hate in his voice, rough in his throat, making him sound like a different person.

"No." Sadie said quickly shaking her head, waving her hands, as though it would help get rid of the thoughts. "Kwest and I thought it would be nice to have a dinner for her, since we didn't do anything to welcome her back."

"And you're telling me because?" Tommy asked.

"When I asked Jude who she's like to be there, she said you." Sadie gave him a small sad smile.

It was easy to see the confusion and anger displayed on Tommy's face. Why would Jude want him there? He could have understood, but now, with this kid here, it didn't make any sense. "You're really not being any help right now."

"It should be a comfort to know that she wants you there, that she's excited to come in to work every day she gets to work with you." Sadie whispered.

Tommy looked at her, he knew that Sadie was breaking the sister code by telling him this, but it didn't help any. "Maybe before, but not anymore, not with him here."

"You can at least be a friend Tommy, isn't that better than nothing?" she asked, before leaving him there and going back into the building.

Was that what he needed to do? Being Jude's friend. They had tried that before, they had said they were friends, she was his artist, he was her producer, but those feelings for each other never went away, they always stayed put.

Walking back towards the studio he saw them, embraced in another hug, Jude whispering something in his ear. The feeling in his stomach made him know that there was no way they could be friends, he didn't have the strength to be her friend.

He knew he was mean, his anger was still controlling him when they were finally back in the studio together, but seeing her blow him a kiss, it was like a knife to the heart, but he knew he deserved it. He shouldn't feel this way for her, because it was obvious that she didn't still feel the same about him, she had moved on.

"Sorry Mason, you've got my full attention now. Let's get this done." Jude smiled, he knew it wasn't the same happy smile she had earlier, but it was still a smile.

"No problem." Mason nodded back at her.

"I didn't know he was coming, I've hardly spoke to him since I left London." Tommy knew that she would try and explain things, she was always good at explaining things, but he wasn't ready to listen to it, he didn't want to think about it, because that meant thinking about her with someone that wasn't him. He could feel himself make a tight fist, trying to release some of the anger, so his words wouldn't come out as hard.

"It doesn't matter, let's just get the song done." He couldn't look at her, because he knew that if he did, she could be able to see every angry thought running through his mind, their pretend world inside the studio was always interrupted with reality, a reality he didn't want to live at the moment.


	13. Chapter 13

Is the May/Tommy relationship a little more clear now? When I started I didn't mean for her to play the role she had, but it was hard to stop once it started.

* * *

><p>"Hello, Squinty Frown, you in there?" Speid asked waving his hand in front of Tommy's face.<p>

"Why?" Tomy suddenly shouted, making Speid step back and Kyle drop his drum sticks. "Why'd you call and tell me she was coming back?" he asked in a more calm voice.

He was angry, he was angry at himself for allowing himself to feel for her still, for thinking that she still felt for him, for believing Speiderman's words. He knew that SME didn't deserve to be yelled at, but they were there at the loft when he got home, and they were going to see his anger, he couldn't hold it in any longer. He could feel it, in the pit of his stomach, in his temples, and in his tightly clenched jaw.

"Cause, I thought you'd like to know." Speid said taking a few more steps back.

"I don't want to know, I don't want to know anything about her!" Tommy shouted, all his anger seething into his voice. "I want to forget her, I want to forget all of it." He could feel himself huffing, her breathing even sounded angry.

"Tommy." Wally said loudly, making everyone turn to look at him, he was the least likely to yell out of all the men in the room. But he was the most likely to bring Tommy back down.

"Ugh." Tommy groaned, throwing a punch into the door, giving it another dent to match many of the others that had been placed there for the years. He looked down at his fist in pain. The pain was all it took to subside his anger, to bring himself back under control. He cradled his hand to his chest, cursing at himself.

"You okay?" Speid asked, turning towards the fridge.

"No." he said through clenched teeth, it hurt, not his heart, but his fist. The physical pain was easy for him to focus on, to forget the emotional pain. He was mad at himself got letting his emotions get the better of him.

"You know, that Oz kid, they won't work." Speid said, trying to lighten the mood, giving Tommy a bag of frozen berries that had been in the freezer since before Jude left for London.

"Yeah Tommy, after the song she did the other day." Kyle nodded in agreement.

Tommy could easily see they all wanted to make him feel better, to lessen his anger. But his eyes focused on Kyle as he spoke. He had forgotten about her new song, the one she didn't want him to hear.

"Kyle." Wally said hitting him upside the head.

"What?" Kyle asked, trying to look innocent. "She said it was to never leave this room, we're in, this room." Pointed around them.

"I don't think that's what she meant." Speid shook his head at his band mates. "Tommy, you know it, she knows it, everyone around you two knows it."

"What do we know?" Kyle whispered to Wally.

Tommy shook his head. "I know what's right in front of me. Jude has moved on, she's seeing someone else, and living her life. I'm here, I'm working, and I'm living my life." He told them. It was so easy to say the words, to sat that he could be indifferent, to forget about the outburst of anger. "That's what I know."

"If that's what you want to believe, fine." Speid gave him an annoyed eye roll. "You can sit here and act like a chick, and bitch and moan, and feel sorry for yourself. We're not going to listen to it. Let's go see Iggy, he's playing tonight." Speid said looking at Wally and Kyle, who quickly followed him out of the door of the rehearsal space, leaving Tommy to his pain and thoughts.

It was so much easier for him to believe that Jude had moved on, he wanted to believe that she had moved on because he wanted her to be happy. He didn't want to suck there, with him. He didn't have anything more to offer her, and he knew he had never been good enough for her. She was a girl that deserved everything and more, and he couldn't offer her anything, but he also knew, it hurt to think of here with someone else. He could easily picture her kissing that guy again, smiling at him, and it made his anger flare again. He shut his eyes tight, shaking his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts, the idea of her with someone else.


	14. Chapter 14

Tommy couldn't lie, when he found out that Oz had left, that Jude was free of him, he was relieved, but it was also painful to watch her walk around for days, in a zombie like state. She had always been so controlled by her emotions, and they were always reflected in her work. It killed him to keep his distance from her, but he knew that she needed time, she needed to come to terms with what had happened, and he too needed to understand what had happened. She had given him that look when she told him, and the phrase she used. It was one he remembered well, from a night be remembered well. They had been locked in a room in the building, it was her seventeenth birthday, the night they both admit their feelings without using words. The night he told her that she knew why things hadn't worked between him and Sadie. She in return used the line on him, and he wasn't sure how he should feel about it know, how to react to her. He tried to make their time together short, talking only when needed. But they were still working together.

The music filled the both, and Tommy knew that May was singing along, but all he could focus on was Jude's face. She seemed like she was in a different world, and he wondered if she was even listening to the song. But he knew, from the way her nose would scrunch up and her eyes would dart from May, back to the computer screen, that she was listening. He just wasn't sure if she liked what she heard.

"Isn't it great?" May laughed when the song came to an end. "I mean I think White Lines would have fit me better, but this one, it grew on me."

"Yeah." Jude nodded. "It sounds-It sounds the same."

Those were the words that made Tommy know, she was only being nice, that wasn't what she really thought. The slight change in her tone, they way she shifted on the couch, he could read her, he always had been able to.

"How about an honest opinion?" he asked.

She paused, and Tommy knew she was looking for the right words.

"It's good, it all sounds good." Lies, he knew she was still lying. There was something she didn't like.

"I know, he's got magical fingers" May said taking his hand. He was to wrapped up in facing her, that he didn't notice.

"Good?" he asked. He wanted the truth from her, she had never been one to hold back, but he knew that she was now, and it bothered him. He had wanted to think that they would always be honest with each other when it came to music. That was why they were so good together behind the sound board.

"Yeah." She clapped her hands together and gave him a smile, one Tommy knew was fake. "I promised Lou I'd let him go home early tonight." She headed for the door.

"Thanks Jude, I'm really glad you love the song." May was still smiling, and Tommy knew that her smile was fake as well. May still wasn't happy with Tommy.

"Umm-yeah, it's good." Tommy could see the confusion and annoyance in her eyes. She didn't love the song, and he was sure that she didn't even like it.

It only took him a minute to react, looking down at his hand, pushing May's away from him. He got up and followed Jude out of the room, he reached for her arm, making her stop. "Jude." She turned around and he could see the sad smile. "Good?"

"Yeah, it's good." She nodded. "Good days work Quincy, I'll see you tomorrow." With that she left quickly, making sure she was in front of Big Lou this time.

"What was that about?" he heard May ask from behind him.

He rubbed the palms of his hands on his temples, trying to help process the information. "She hates it."

"Did she say that?" May asked.

"She didn't have to say it." Tommy sighed. "It was all over her face, and she never uses the word good to describe a song." He could see the instant anger set in May's features. "Good means mediocre, I don't want you to have a good song, I want it to be great."

"Tom, I think the song is great, I love it." May said crossing her arms in front of her.

He sighed loudly, and hit play again, allowing the room to fill the all the different sounds. He knew that everything was perfect, the drums, the bass, the guitar, and even May's voice. But as he sat there, taking in each sound, he figured it out. "It's the same."

"I would hope so, we just listened to it two minutes ago." May huffed.

"No, I mean it's the same as Jude's. We hardly changed anything." He laughed feeling stupid. He knew that she didn't like covering someone else's song, and she didn't like hearing other people do her songs either. But to sit and listen to the song, and having it sound just the same, he was stupid for not seeing it earlier. "You're perfect, it's me, I didn't change anything."

"I didn't want anything changed." May said simply standing up. "I'm going to tell D that the song is perfect, and finished."


	15. Chapter 15

He had heard her humming to herself more and more, and he knew that she was writing a new song, he had expected her to write a song, something about the break up. But when he walked into the studio and heard her singing, it made his heart sink. The emotion and pain in her voice was raw and real. It had been a long time since he had seen her like that, since she had sung Skin.

He tried to get out of the booth before she heard him, she didn't want her to see him when he was mad, and the words made him mad, but he knew he was unsuccessful when she approached him.

"Quincy."

"Milo's not here yet?" he looked inside the empty mug he grabbed when he heard her approaching.

"No." she shook her head. "Sadie said he doesn't normally come in until after lunch. They finished Mason's song, I thought we should hear it before giving it to Darius, make sure everything's right."

"Yeah, sure." He pushed himself off the counter. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, and it was becoming harder and harder to stand there talking to Jude. When he was safe inside the studio, with the door closed he answered his phone.

"Tom." The voice on the other end was one he had heard a lot the last few days.

"Hey Tristan, how's it going?" he asked her brother.

"No change, things are fine, she was lucid for a while last night, but not long enough for me to call." He explained.

"It's okay." Tommy gave a smile small. His mother's condition was getting worse, and it was hard for Tommy to think about, because he would still remember the person he turned into the last time he had gone home, the pain he had caused Jude.

"The hospital here, it's really nice." Tristan said in a whisper. "Mom doesn't want you spending your money on it."

"She loves the weather in Seattle, and I want to spend my money on this, on both of you." Tommy sighed. It was hard for him to be there, knowing that his mother was fading.

"Any idea when you're going to be here?" he asked.

"In about a month, I talked to D, and I'm taking off as soon as I finish everything." Tommy said looking out the window of the door, watching as Jude and May spoke. "I got offered a job there too, something light, so I'll be free to do what I need to, what she needs me too."

"Tom?" his brother asked after a pause.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, you're a really good brother, and a good son." He could hear the smile.

"Don't mention it, please." Tommy told him. "Look I've got to get to work, call me again when she's lucid, otherwise I'll check-in in a few days."

"Okay, thanks."

"I love you Tristan." Tommy said before hanging up the phone and watching Jude come into the room.

The two didn't talk. Tommy couldn't think of anything to say, his mind was somewhere else, with his brother and mother, wondering if he was missing more than he should. He was glad when lunch came around, and May pulled him from the studio, chattering none stop about her third album almost being finished. He was glad for the distraction, but at the same time, he was also glad to get back to the studio, to hear Jude's voice as she sung to herself.

"It's good." He told her. "I thought you were taking a break from writing." He knew that she didn't want him to know about the song from the rehearsal space, the one that Kyle had told him about.

"I am. It's not for the studio, it's just stuff, my stuff." She whispered quickly.

"It's good though, really good." He nodded at her, trying to make himself smile for her, to give her the support a friend should, but it was hard. "He'll love it."

"Who?" she asked looking confused.

"That British kid, he'll regret letting you go." Tommy said unsure of what she meant by asking who.

"It's not about Ozzie." Her voice made his heart stop, it made his whole mood change. He didn't worry about his family, he didn't think about that guy kissing her, he could only think about the words of the song now, as they replayed in his head.

"What?" he wanted to make sure he heard her right, he wanted her to say it was for him.

"I didn't write it about him. Sometimes I wonder where you come up with these things." She smiled, going to sit on the couch.

He could feel the smile growing on his lips as he looked at her, looking at her in a way he hadn't done in days. "You going to let me hear the whole song?" he titled his head to one side, giving her a look he knew pulled at her heart.

"Not in this lifetime." She smiled back.

"That's a good thing, it's probably crap anyways." He laughed, it was easy for their tension to disappear, for them to go back to where they were before, before that guy showed up. He reached up and caught the pillow she threw at him.

"My songs aren't crap." She laughed.

"Hey, I just call them as I see them."

"You haven't seen them." she reminded him.

Tommy looked at her, and he knew that her smile was real, not one that she felt she needed to have, but one that came natural to her, a smile that he had missed over the last few days.


	16. Chapter 16

He sat tuning the old guitar, watching her. Her head was slowly nodding to the song she was listening to, and the notebook sat in her lap. Watching her was easy, almost effortless. He knew that if he could, he would spend all of his time watching her, studying the twitches in her smile.

Having her in the same room did however make it harder to concentrate on the guitar in his lap, the chords his fingers played, and the knobs he should have been turning.

"You're never going to finish tuning that." Jude laughed, not looking up from her journal.

"Excuse me?" Tommy asked back, looking away from her.

"Tommy, I could feel you staring, and I can hear you missing notes." She took the ear buds out and smiled. "Honestly Quincy, I don't know how you've kept your job."

"I will have you know I kick ass at my job." Tommy laughed throwing a pick at her.

"Really, I thought the job kicked your ass." Jude laughed.

Tommy watched her, as she walked around the open loft, her fingers tracing over Kyle's drums, pausing in front of Speid's guitar. She had been spending more and more time at the rehearsal space, and Tommy knew it was because of Kwest and Sadie fighting. It made Jude feel awkward to be there, listening to them.

"I find it hard to believe that this is how you spend your nights now." Jude said, sitting down on a foot stool.

Tommy wasn't sure what he meant, how was he spending his nights? "Huh?"

"Little Tommy Q, single and locked up in a loft, in a shady neighborhood." Jude stated.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I've gone out a few nights since I've been back, had dinner with some friends. But I don't know, it just isn't the same anymore."

Jude laughed.

"What?" he asked.

"You're getting old Quincy." She told him.

"You know, for once that doesn't seem like such a bad thing." He smiled. Seeing her so relaxed and happy, it was the way he wanted to spend his nights. "What about you Harrison? Shouldn't you be out, living the life of a rock star?"

"I left that part in London." Jude smiled. "Actually I promised my friend Marcie, I wouldn't do anything stupid without her."

"Now that really doesn't sound like a rock star." Tommy laughed.

"I've got an image to protect." Jude said throwing a ball of paper at him. "We can't all be like you, waking up naked in Strawberry Fields."

Tommy knew that she wasn't a big partier, she was hardly picked out at night clubs or bars, and that always made him feel better, to know that she was being smart. But there were always stories, things that happened on tour. Jude was more mature and responsible when she hit fame. Tommy knew he was too young to deal with his own stardom.

"Spit it out Harrison." He said after awhile, he could tell there was something she wanted to ask, something she had had on her mind for awhile.

"How's your mom?" her voice was soft, and he wondered if she had heard him talking to his brother.

"Fine, why?" he asked.

"May, she just made some comment to me, about how things were really stressful for you." He could tell that she didn't like the fact that May talked about him the way she did. "She said things were going on at home."

"Oh." He was glad she didn't know the whole story, it made it easier to talk to her. "No, things are fine, my mom and brother are in Seattle now."

"Oh." She looked surprised. "Is that why you want to go to Seattle?"

"Yeah, that's part of the reason." Tommy nodded. "Even with my full time nurse my mom can be a handful, and Tristan and I want to be there."

He could see her soft smile, he knew that she liked what he was hearing, she had always liked it when he talked about his family.

"You're a good guy Tom Quincy." She looked up at him this time, smiling.

He wanted to tell her that she was the reason he had become this man, that she had changed him so much. But putting that much of himself out there wasn't easy.


	17. Chapter 17

Tommy stood watching her. Her hair sat in a messy pony tail on top of her head, and her sweat pants were rolled up to her knees. She looked frustrated, and he could see the sweat glistening off her forehead, as she pulled on the string again.

"Hey rock star." He said making his presences known.

Jude whipped around, looking embarrassed. "Hey Little Tommy Q." he knew she was making a stab at the boy band.

"Ouch, that hurt." Tommy laughed, walking closer to her. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Trying to mow the lawn," Jude said motioning to the lawn mower. "In case that isn't obvious."

Tommy rubbed his nose with his thumb, before sticking his hands back into his pockets. He wanted to laugh, it was hard not to laugh at the sight of Jude Harrison standing in front of a lawn mower. "I don't know many rock stars that low their own lawn."

"I like to be a trend setter." Jude laughed, wiping the sweat off her forehead. "I don't have a lawn in London, thought it might to fun."

"Fun, right." Tommy nodded, suppressing another laugh. "You know Kwest bought a new mower when he first moved in."

Jude shook her head. "This was the only one in the garage, the one we've always had."

"This one Harrison," Tommy laughed walking around to the front and pointing to the black knob on the motor, "It takes gas."

He watched as she made an oh face, and tried to hide her embarrassment as her cheeks quickly turned pink.

He shook his head at her, laughing. "Come on, I'll show you how to use the new one." He said pushing her aside, so he could push the old mower back into the garage.

"What are you doing here anyways, Quincy?" Jude asked, as they walked together.

"Jamie called, asked if I could help them get a deal on some new studio equipment, they are turning nana's sewing room into their fourth studio."

"I know, poor nana, the whole house has been taken over." Jude laughed.

"Poor nana?" Tommy asked. "Have you seen the woman, she's so please to have so many people to cook for."

"I know, I had dinner with them yesterday. She's really taken a liking to Zeppelin, she's been pushing Jamie to pop the question." Jude laughed.

As Tommy parked the older mower in its spot he turned to look at Jude. "I can see that, they've been together for a long time." He didn't want to make the conversation anymore awkward than it was at the mention of marriage. "This one." He said quickly, pointing to the tarp covered mass, "is the mower."

"Okay." Jude nodded. "Gas." She said turning and looking around them.

"Jude, it's electric." Tommy had to laugh, as he unplugged the mower. "Maybe you should let Kwest be in charge of yard maintenance."

"Right." Jude laughed, leaning on her car. "I can do this. They are putting up with me, and having that BBQ tomorrow, I can mow the lawn."

"Putting up with you?" Tommy asked. "Sadie doesn't put up with anyone, you included."

"I know, but you know what I mean." Jude laughed. "Plus I hardly get to do anything for myself, this will be good for me, remind me that I'm a normal girl."

"Harrison, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you were never normal." Tommy whispered with a smile.

"Oh, ha ha ha." Jude said throwing a towel at him. "Did you say you were going to NBR, not to harass me?"

"Hey, I'm going." Tommy said tossing the towel back to her. "But just know this, I'll frame the pictures of you mowing the lawn."

"Tom Quincy, did you just say you'd by a tabloid magazine, just for my picture?" she laughed.

"I'd buy anything for your picture." He said giving her a wink before leaving her there. The more time they spent together, the harder it was for either of them to be indifferent, to hide their feelings or flirting.

It had been years since he had stood in the Harrison family home, and now he felt like it was a different house. He knew that Sadie had done a lot of redecorating, he was just amazed at how different it all looked.

"Here." Kwest said handing him a beer.

"Thanks." Tommy nodded at him. "The place looks good."

"Yeah, Sadie likes to shop." He laughed.

"Where are the lovely Harrison sisters?" he asked looking around the living room. He could see SME in the backyard, and Jamie and Zeppelin were in the kitchen, and Karma was sitting in a chair, on her phone.

"I think Jude's out back, and Sadie's around somewhere." Kwest shrugged looking around.

"I'll go say hello." Tommy said before handing towards the screen door. He could see Jude laying on the lawn swing, her green heels dangling off her feet, and her jean shorts showed off her perfect legs.

"Quincy, about time you showed up." Wally laughed, throwing a beach ball over at him.

"I'm a busy guy, what can I say." Tommy laughed, knocking the ball back.

"Glad you made it Tom." Sadie said from a chair next to her sister.

Tommy lifted Jude's legs and sat down, her legs falling back onto his lap. "What's wrong?" he asked, noticing the pain in Jude's face.

"I'm never mowing the lawn again." She sighed, pushing her sunglasses up to the top of her head. "My legs are so sore."

Tommy laughed and patted the side of her knee. "I warned you."

"At least the yard looks nice." Sadie laughed as well.

"I'm glad you two can find so much humor in my pain." Jude said hitting Tommy in the arm.

"We're not laughing at you, we're laughing for you." Sadie smiled. "I need to find my husband and get some food started, I don't think those boys can hold off much longer." She nodded out towards Wally, Kyle and Speid.

"I didn't think you were going to come." Jude commented after Sadie was gone.

"And miss welcoming you back?" Tommy asked. "Not a chance."

"I've been back for almost a month, the welcome back is a little late."

"Have you ever tried to say no to Sadie?" Tommy asked.

"As a matter of fact, I have." Jude nodded.

"Well it doesn't work well for anyone but you then." Tommy laughed. "I finished early at the studio, we've just got to go through the final mixing on Monday, then we're set."

"I can't believe how fast we got it all put together." Jude sighed. "I swear this has to be the quickest an album has ever been put together."

"It's all cover songs, we pulled from most of the originals, and have had people working on it nonstop, I'm surprised it's taken us this long." Tommy told her. He knew that it normally took months to get an album together, to having everything perfect, but putting together a group of cover songs, of greatest hits, it was easy.

"I guess, I'm just still amazed." Jude smiled, sitting up on the swing, her legs still resting on Tommy's lap. "If you have time tomorrow, want to go for a ride?"

Tommy watched her, they had spent the last few days together, in the loft, at the studio, just hanging out, and it had all been perfect. "Yeah, it'd be good to get the bikes out."

The two sat, and watched the boys in the yard, hitting the large beach ball around. Wally's girlfriend and Karma joining them after awhile.

"It's hot." Jude sighed. "I need a drink." She moved slowly, putting on leg down at a time. Tommy could see that she wasn't lying about being sore.

"You'll be a grandma by the time you get there." Tommy laughed, making her shot him a look. "I'll get it for you, stay put."

He watched as she lowered herself back onto the swing.

"You're the best." She smiled at him.

"Only to you." He whispered, giving her a wink before disappearing back into the house. It had become so easy for them to fall back into the people they use to be, the flirty friends. It was the way things had always been with them, even after their break ups, they would always end up just like they were now.


	18. Chapter 18

Jude parked her bike in the garage, and Tommy quickly pulled the sheet back over them.

"Thanks for keeping it in shape." She smiled at him.

"Don't mention it." Tommy nodded, feeling her hand brush his arm. "I couldn't let them rust, it didn't feel right."

"We're going to have to search the new stands next week." She laughed. "The pictures of this helmet head are going to be priceless." She said reaching up and running her hand through his hair.

Tommy loved the feeling of her fingers in his hair, the way his head tingled from her touch.

"Hey, don't poke fun of my hair." He joked, as the two walked together to his Viper parked in front of the house. It was a spot he loved to park that car.

Jude laughed, pulling her seat belt on. "Did the guys say where we're meeting for dinner?" she asked.

"I think we're picking up Thai, and meeting Kyle back at the rehearsal space." Tommy nodded. "Jamie said they would be over sometime after eight." They had planned a little gathering, a time for Jude and SME to play, a time for them to all be together, outside of work.

"Mango chicken?" Jude asked raising an eyebrow.

"Your favorite." Tommy laughed, as they speed down the road.

"Did you enjoy your day off?" Jude asked looking over at him. Tommy could read her look. But all he could think about when he glanced over at her, was how happy it made him to have here there. It felt like the perfect moment, some random song playing softly in the background, them sitting close together, smiling at each other.

"Yeah, I haven't been riding in a long time." He smiled at her softly. He couldn't just say that he wouldn't want to spend it any other way, that would have been too easy, too embarrassing.

"Good, me too." She smiled back.

It didn't take long for them to get the food, or for them to get back to the rehearsal space. They meet Wally and Kyle in the packed parking lot. They press had discovered the place a few days back, and it had been crazy since then.

"Are you and Tommy back together?" someone shouted, the flashes going off in every direction.

Tommy could see Jude struggling to carry a bag of food, and shield herself from the press. "Give me the bag." He said reaching for her hand, taking it from her, allowing her to use both hands.

"Thanks." She mouthed at him, as they made it through the crowd. Things had been calm for a few weeks, after the initial shock of Jude coming back had worn off, but once Jude and Tommy started to hang out more, that was all it took, and the press was all over them again.

"Hey guys," Kyle greeted them, allowing them into the room. "It's like a mad house out there."

"Yeah, I'm going to call Big Lou." Tommy said nodding towards Jude, as she took the food back from him.

"That's a good idea." Jude nodded in agreement. He watched her as she walked away, putting the food on the table.

"I can't wait for these pictures to come out." He commented, walking towards her.

"What?" she asked, spinning around to look at him.

"You're hair Harrison, it's going to be right up there with my helmet head." Tommy laughed, fixing a strand of her hair. He could feel all eyes in the room on them, but he didn't care.

"If you two are done comparing hair, can we eat?" Speid asked.

"Yeah." Jude said turning to hide her blush. "Where is Karma tonight?" she asked changing the subject.

"Some G Major thing." Speid rolled his eyes. "She never stops working."

"She wants to keep her contract." Tommy told him. Things are G Major with Karma had been rough, he knew that her sales were down, which to Darius was the time to drop an artist.

"Yeah, yeah." Speid sighed.

"Speid, will you play a song tonight?" Jude asked, and Tommy knew she wanted to change the subject again. "I want to hear something you've been working on, anything."

"Yeah, of course dude." He laughed, with a plate full of food, "But first I challenge you to a round of mortal combat."

"You boys and your games." Tommy heard Jude say as they all headed towards the TV that had been set up a few weeks ago.


	19. Chapter 19

Tommy listened to the words of her song. He knew that she was crazy. She picked the day before the album was due, to add a song to it. He knew that the song was good, he could tell even before she was halfway through it. But he knew that he needed to be a producer right now, it was the only way they would get this done it time. Late he could be that guy, the one that worried about the meaning.

"It's good, lets lay it down individually." He told them avoiding looking at any of them. He needed to make it through the next 24 hours.

As he listened to them record each part of the song, he tried to imagine it all in his head, how it would all sound together. He had asked Eric to help, to use the other studio to get down the bass, so that he could work on the guitar and the drums.

It was nearly six o'clock by the time he started stringing all the pieces together. He was already tired, and his head hurt. the stress from the day seemed to be weighing on his shoulders.

"Can we talk about this?" he heard Jude ask. He wasn't even sure if he was aware that she was in the room, when has she come into the room?

"Thank about what?" he asked, not looking up, watching the screen, looking for the spot her had missed.

"The song." She whispered. He could hear her nerves in her voice.

"It's a good song, I'm sure if would have been better if we had more time." He didn't mean for his words to sound so mean, but the stress of the day was upon him, and he was tired.

"I was more referring to the lyrics." She said.

"Is there something you don't like?" he asked, glancing at the moving knobs.

"The meaning Tommy, I'm asking if we can talk about the meaning of the song, gosh, could you not be so dense for five minutes." Now she sounded annoyed with him, like he had missed the whole point or something.

He looked at her, wanting her to know that she had his full attention now.

"Maybe this is too much."

"Too much for what?" he asked, unsure of what she was referring to.

"Too much of the past, too many emotions." She shook her head. "I shouldn't be doing this."

"Jude, you're nervous, being back here, at G Major." He knew that it was hard for her to record here, she had fought so hard to get away. "You have been so set on not being the Jude Harrison you were, that you forgot that you are Jude Harrison." He put his hand down on her knee not thinking about the placement until he felt her warm knee on his palm. "This song is good, you just need to believe in yourself."

He watched as she gave him another annoyed glance, and rolled her eyes at him with a soft laugh.

"I'm ready when you are." He nodded at her, wanting her to know that he believed in the song, in her.

He was impressed at how quickly she nailed the song. It only took her six takes and he knew that he had the perfect take.

"Go get some rest Harrison, you had a long day." He smiled at her, she looked half asleep on the couch, he couldn't lie, it was a distraction to have her laying here.

"What about you?" she asked getting up slowly.

"I've got to finish this," he said nodding towards the computer screen, he was music the lyrics to the music. It would be easier to focus on the song, knowing she was home in her bed, safe and warm.

"You sure, I could stay and help." She yawned.

"By help, you mean sleep on the couch." He laughed. "Go, I already called Big Lou." He watched as she gave him one last look before leaving the room.


	20. Chapter 20

He sighed as he stepped into the hallway of the building, it was early, or late, either way he knew that all he wanted to do was sleep, but the name at the end of the hall made him stop. "Lou?" he asked, looking around, he could feel the worry settle in his stomach.

"She's inside." He said motioning his head to the door.

"What's going on?" he asked, and watched at the man shrugged his shoulders. He knew that it was Lou's job to protect someone, not question the things they do.

"I told her, I would wait for you get here." He told Tommy.

"Yeah, thanks." Tommy said looking up at him. "You can go, she's good here." He wondered why she would be here this late, why she wouldn't have just gone to the studio.

"I'll be back in the morning then." Lou said before walking door the hall Tommy had just come from.

"Harrison, what are you doing here?" he was worried, worried she was hurt, worried something had happened to her. "It's almost three am." He locked the door behind him.

"I couldn't be home, Kwest and Sadie…" she trailed off, and his instantly knew what she was talking about. The two had been fighting long before Jude had returned.

"And you thought you would just hang out here, alone?" he asked.

"I didn't have anywhere else to go." She whispered. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here, I'll go, Big Lou can take me to a hotel or something."

He reached out and stopped her has she tried to make her way to the door. He couldn't let her leave, he knew she was upset, and he knew he wanted her to stay there. He didn't like the idea of her being anywhere else, anywhere he wasn't.

He laced his fingers with her, and smiled at how perfectly they fit together, how comfortable his hand felt holding hers. H stepped closer to her, he couldn't fight it any longer, he wanted to feel her, he wanted to told her.

"Why didn't you call?" his eyes on their hands.

"I didn't know what to say."

"Anything, you could have said anything and I would have listened." He still couldn't look at her, he was trying to regain control, trying to keep his mind straight.

"I know." That was all it took, she knew, and he couldn't help himself any longer.

Their eyes meet, and his free hand quickly reached for her face, feeling the smooth skin under his rough hand, he pulled her closer to him, feeling her body push into his. His thumb traced over her lips, and he inhaled her sweet scent. He didn't want to stay indifferent, he wanted Jude. With a slight movement of his head, his pressed his lips to hers, feeling his sigh into his mouth. Her moans of pleasure were the signal that Tommy needed, the one that meant they wouldn't stop with kissing, and as his lips moved to her collar bone, he could feel her moving backwards, taking him with her. The bed was where they were headed, but he knew it could have been anywhere, all he needed was her, and the fire in her eyes showed him that all she wanted was him.

He pulled the black sheet up, covering her legs and bottom, but his hands traced the curves of her back, and he kissed slowly down her shoulder. She was beautiful when she slept, her head resting on his arm. He could see the sun rising through the dirty windows of the loft, but he hadn't slept yet, he couldn't, he was scared she would disappear the moment his eyes were closed.

"Tommy." She moaned, her eyes still closed.

"Yeah?" he whispered back, lowering his head to the pillow, closer to hers. He watched as she eyes opened slightly, and he saw the devilish smile that played on her lips, a smile that he knew only he could read. She quickly pushed herself up slightly, her lips finding his again, her hands tugging on his shoulders, pulling him over on top of her. "Jude." He moaned in her ear. This was the way he knew he could easily spend the rest of his life. He knew he could spend his life with her, no matter what had happened between them, no matter how much time had passed. They just simply fit together.


	21. Chapter 21

Their morning was disrupted, and Tommy knew it wasn't the way either of them wanted it to go. He had wanted to be happy for her, he wanted to act like it was the greatest thing in the world, but after last night, he couldn't act anymore. He couldn't act indifferent, and he couldn't act this it wasn't going to rip him apart to watch her leave again. But this time he knew that he could leave before her, if he needed too.

He knew that it was wrong to leave as soon as he could. But he needed time to think things through before they would talk about them. He wanted to be able to understand what it meant, her getting a contact back in London. He needed to process the information before they could talk about it.

It was easy to avoid Jude, her London producers kept her busy, and so did the chatter of her new contract. He had heard them talking about in the lobby that morning, but he escaped quickly, before Jude was able to say a single thing to him.

"She spent half the night staring that the folder," Speid sighed, sitting down next to Tommy.

"Yeah, even Sadie is asking me where you are." Kwest told him. "I don't like lying to my wife."

"I'm not asking you to." Tommy snapped, looking around the hotel room. He hadn't gone back to the loft, instead he got a hotel room, knowing that he still had a lot to think over.

"I really don't get you two, you either want to be together, or you don't." Kwest sighed.

"It's not that simple." Tommy muttered.

"Yeah, it is." Speid told him. "You two have to make everything complicated. Dude loves you man, it's pretty easy to see."

"And we all know you love her." Kwest said.

"I'm not going to stand in her way, I don't want to keep her from doing what she really wants." Tommy shook his head, thinking about the contract, the excitement in her eyes. "I'm trying to figure out a way to be happy for her, to be excited about it."

"You shouldn't have to figure out a way, you should just be happy." Speid clapped him on the back.

"With Jude and I, it's about timing, and this isn't the right time. She needs to go back to London, and I need to go to Seattle." Tommy tried to explain.

"You don't need to go anywhere." Kwest told him. Tommy had told anyone about his mother, it wasn't something he wanted to share, it was something he wanted to keep private, something that only needed to be shared with his family.

"I'm going to Seattle at the end of the week." Tommy shook his head.

"What's so important, that you'd leave her for Seattle?" Kwest wondered.

Tommy didn't say anything. He didn't want anyone to know, and he knew that was wrong, but he had wanted to keep this part of his life private. It's family wasn't something anyone else would easily understand, and he had watched Jude learn that the hard way, he didn't want anyone else to.

"You've got to figure something out quick, you need to tell her something." Speid sighed. "She's my best dude, and I hate seeing her like this."

"Yeah Tommy, you two are adults now, you need to talk. She's going to understand how you feel, cause I'm pretty sure she's going through the same thing." Kwest added.

"I don't want her to go through this, that's what I'm saying." He sighed.

"She's already going through it, even if you don't want her to." Speid stood up. "You could make it easier on everyone and just go see her."


	22. Chapter 22

Tommy wasn't in a suit, it wasn't his style, he dressed for comfort, even at Darius's parties. He didn't have to look around the room to find Jude, her eyes had been on him most of the night, and May had been close to his side the whole time. But he was just as aware for Jude as she seemed to be of him. He had held his breath when she walked into the room, her black and silver dress and tight, and stopped mid tight. She was always stunning.

But the moment he saw her, he knew, he knew what he needed to tell her, and he knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it was for the best.

Tommy lead May around the room, but he knew it was more of her leading him. She would stop every few people and chat, she was good at working the room. He didn't realize it until it was too late, but she was working to way to Jude and her producers.

"I don't believe we've met." May said extending to hand to the men. "I'm May Huff." He still had one arm linked with Tommy.

"May is an Instant Star winter." Jude said, Tommy could see the hurt in her face. "These are my producers from London, David, and Luke." She introduced the men.

"It's a pleasure." May smiled at them each. "And I'm sure you know my date." She motioned towards Tommy.

The word date caught him off guard. He hadn't come with May, or even agreed to meet her there.

"Tom Quincy, you still seem to change girls as quickly as you change your shirt." David commented, Tommy could see the disapproving look he was giving.

"She's not my date." Tommy said pushing May's arm off, looking at Jude, hoping that she could read his mind, but her eyes were focused on the napkin in her hands.

"What does he mean change girls?" May asked looking up at him.

"Will this be like our very own drama?" Luke whispered.

"No," Jude said quickly shaking her head. "There won't be any drama, not in this dress." He knew she was trying to make a joke to lessen the tension between them.

"I do love it, who is the designer?" Luke asked, looking her up and down.

"A friend of mine, Kat." Jude smiled, spinning around to show him more of the dress.

Tommy hadn't heard to speak about Kat since she had first arrived, she had mentioned if she had gotten a hold of her or not.

"It's breath taking." Tommy smiled at her. He didn't take any notice of May's annoyed grunt.

"Yeah, it's flattering." May smirked.

"Jude always does know how to dress." Luke laughed. "She's got a closet that could make Carrie Bradshaw jealous, only if she was real."

"It's not that big." Jude smiled.

"Excuse me, I need a drink." Tommy said nodding at them. he didn't want to stand there and listen to them talk about her London life, it hurt to think that she would soon return to it.

"I'll go with you." Jude said quickly, handing her half empty glass to Luke.

"It was nice to meet you." May said nodding as well, before joining them. "There are so many people here."

"Yeah, Instant Star draws a big crowd." Jude nodded.

"I heard Shay was going to be here." May laughed.

"He was." Tommy told them. He could tell the small talk between the two was focused. "T-Bone was asking for you." He said looking at Jude.

Jude laughed at some memory. "I haven't seen them in years, not since I first went to London."

"Is there anyone you're not friends with?" Tommy heard May mutter under her breath.

"Can I get a soda water?" Tommy asked at the bar. He knew that drinking anything strong would only add more problems to the night. "You want anything?" he asked looking at Jude.

She shook her head softly.

"Can I get a rum and coke?" May asked.

Tommy didn't want to say anything. He didn't want to fight with Jude at a party, he didn't want to talk about his feelings in front of so many other people, but he could easily see the all the questions swimming in her eyes, she was having a hard time keeping them to herself, he could tell each time she swallowed.

It hadn't taken Darius long to find them, pulling Tommy away, to meet someone, to talk about something. It was the way work parties went. They all had to work the room, talking about the album, even though it was months away from coming out, it was part of the gig. It was the part that Tommy had always hated the most. He had figured without him standing there, to two woman would go their separate ways, Jude back to her producers, and May would wonder the room, chatting with people she knew. He glanced around when he thought about Jude, trying to see if he could spot her somewhere in the crowd. But he wasn't able to, the room was full of people.

It wasn't until he heard the sound of breaking glass that he found her again in the crowd. He could see Luke patting her dress with napkins, and May was standing in front of her, with a satisfied look on her face, one hand on her hip, and the other just above where the broken glass lay on the floor.

"It's fine." Jude said pushing Luke's hands away from her.

"You never should have come back here." May told her.

"What happened?" Tommy asked pushing his way through the people that had all turned to watch the fight between the girls. He didn't need to think about which girl he would stand next to, Jude was always first in his mind. He looked at her, seeing the stain on her dress. "Are you okay?" he asked, taking her hands.

"Fine." She nodded her head.

He turned towards May when he heard her annoyed laugher. "Of course." She sighed shaking her head. "It's always all about Jude."

"This is not the place for this." Tommy whispered harshly at the girl.

"Hey, it's okay." Jude said squeezing his hand. "Can you just give me a ride home? I don't want the stain to set in."

Tommy could see in her eyes that she was trying to avoid this going any farther, he didn't have to know that had happened to understand that the best thing they could do now was to leave.

"Yeah," he nodded, looking back at May before guiding Jude through the crowd of people.

"If I didn't know you better Quincy, I would think there was something between you and May." Jude whispered, looking back at him.

Tommy knew he was going to have to explain the whole relationship to her, how May had been the girl he figured he would turn to, once he was sure Jude truly wasn't his anymore.


	23. Chapter 23

Admitting that he loved her was easy. Listening to her admit that everything in her life would always lead her back to him made he see what he had to do. It was simple, and he didn't know why he hadn't seen it before. Maybe it was like Speid had said, maybe they really did make everything much more complicated than it needed to be. Things with them could be simple, if they would let it.

He laid in her bed, looking at the twist tie on her finger. Her fingers running over the lines on his stomach. They had intended on getting up, getting her ticket ready for London, and his for Seattle, but their need to be together, to feel each other was stronger than either of them.

"A year is a long time." She whispered.

"You're going to be on tour for half of it, it'll fly by." He whispered back.

"And if I don't want to wait a year?" Jude asked, looking up at him.

"You'll make it." He said kissing her forehead. He didn't want to admit that he wasn't sure if he could make it a year without her. He knew that this coming year was going to be one of the hardest for him to go through, but he knew he had to go through it without her, with only his family. "I'll catch you in concert when you're close."

"If we even go to Seattle." Jude sighed.

"You'll go to Seattle, and I promise to be there." He shifted in the bed, feeling his legs intertwine with his under the sheets.

"We really gonna do this Quincy?" she asked, he could feel her breath on his chest.

"I'm going to make you Mrs. Thomas Quincy." Tommy smiled. He loved the way it sounded, the way it floated out of his mouth and settled in the air.

"DuTois." Jude said shifting so she was now facing him. "I want you, not the person Darius marketed to the rest of the world."

"You're the only girl I would give that last name to." He smiled, bring her faces back to his to kiss her. The fact that she could say that, say that she wanted the real him, that was why he had always been so in love with her. She was the only girl he had ever felt close enough to allow to see that side of him, where he came from. And even though it had ended their relationship once, he wasn't going to allow it to end it this time.

Maybe that was why he couldn't tell her, because he didn't want it to affect them, to affect him. He knew that the days he had with his mother were numbered, and he knew if Jude knew, she wouldn't leave. Like before, he needed to do this on his own. He needed to face his childhood, and make sure that he could stand on his own feet before bringing her into the mess.

"Come on, it's almost noon, we're going to have to leave this bed sooner of later." Jude smiled, sitting up and in bed.

Tommy watched her, and she slowly picked up their clothes from the night before, her dress laying in the middle of the room.

"So much for getting the stain out." Jude laughed, holding it up. There was a dark oval down the front of the dress. "I'll see if the dry cleaners can save it." She sighed tossing it towards her desk, tossing his clothes on the bed.

He watched her, her curls from last night had fallen, and he was amazed by how calm she was about the dress. When he had heard her say it was by Kat, he knew that it was special to her, meaning more than he could understand. But the fight between Jude and May didn't even seem to matter anymore. She hadn't asked for an explanation, and he was glad because he wasn't sure what to tell her.

"Get dressed, we're going to have to tell Sadie." She said pulling him up from the bed. "I can keep a secret from the rest of the world, but not from my sister."

"Yeah, we're going to need her help getting everything planned." Tommy stood and wrapped his arms around her, holding her to his bare chest. "I love you Jude." He whispered.

"I love you too." It sounded so natural, it was almost hard to believe it was real.

It had been easy to tell Sadie, and Jamie had given Tommy a warning, one that was hard to take seriously, because to Tommy Jamie was always going to be that dorky penciled neck friend. But he knew that Jude needed to tell SME alone, because it was going to be harder to explain to them not only that she was getting married, but that she was leaving earlier than planned. After leaving Jude in the protection of Big Lou, he headed for the studio. He had two people he needed to talk to himself. His brother, and May.

He sat in the parking lot, watching the clouds out the window, waiting for his brother to pick up.

"Hey." He heard his tired voice.

"Everything alright?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah," he could hear him yawn, and he knew he's woken him up. "What about you, I didn't think I would hear from you until you got to Seattle."

"I know, I know." Tommy laughed. "But I've got some news, something I don't want to wait to share with you, or with mom."

"Everything is alright, right? You don't sound like yourself." His brother sounded worried.

"No, everything is fine, better than fine." Tommy sighed. "Look when mom is lucid, I want you to tell her I'm getting married."

"Married?" he asked after a long pause. He could hear the laugher in his voice. "Funny."

"I'm being serious." Tommy smiled, thinking about Jude. "Jude Harrison." He whispered her name, knowing that his brother would be able to put it all together.

"Tom." He heard him chuckle. "Mom will be glad to hear this, she's always talking about the blonde."

"Well make sure she knows. I'll be there in two days." Tommy said before hanging up. Telling his brother was the easy part, telling May was going to be harder.

He found her sitting in the recording booth, she was working on her third album.

"I didn't think I'd see you today." May said, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Don't give me attitude, I'm the one that should be mad at you." Tommy sighed, leaning on the door frame. "You ruined her dress."

"Like a dress really matters." May rolled her eyes.

"To her, that dress matters a lot." Tommy sighed, but he knew it wasn't about the dress. "I'm leaving for Seattle in two days."

"I thought you weren't going until the end of the week." May said, her eyes pooling up with tears.

"I'm leaving early, I need to be there." He told her. He watched her, as she played in the pick in her hand, turning it over and over. "Jude is going back to London."

He could see the spark of hope in her eyes, and it hurt to know he had to tell her, to put the spark out, like he would a candle.

"We're together." He said slowly. He wasn't going to tell her they were going to get married. "But right now I'm needed in Seattle, and she is going to do another album in London."

He watched as her head dropped, and he knew she was crying.

"May." He said, reaching out to touch her shoulder, to comfort her in some way.

"No." she said shaking her head, stepping away from him. "I need a second." She turned away from him, and he could hear her taking deep breaths.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I know." She whispered back, before turning around. Just like before he could see the sadness in her eyes, but she was smiling. "Maybe I knew this was going to happen, I just wish I had seen it before last night."

"Yeah, I wish I had too." He sighed. He knew that he should have left the room then, but he pulled her into a hug. She had been such a good friend to him, sticking by his side, waiting for him for so long, and he had done nothing but hurt and disappoint her. It wasn't fair to her, but it wouldn't have been fair to lie to her any longer either.

"Honestly, Tom, I'm fine." She laughed lightly as they pulled apart. "I mean boys are a dime a dozen around here."

"You're going to do great." Tommy said giving her one last smile before leaving the booth.

"Tell your girl to watch her back, I'm going to be the next rock star." May laughed, as Tommy left.

He knew that she was going to be fine. She was strong, being an artist made you strong.

His arm was warped around her tightly, holding her to him. He wasn't ready to go into the airport, to say goodbye, but he knew they needed to. It was time.

"Ready to see a rock star at work?" Jude asked, nodding her head to the crowd outside of the car.

"I'm always read to watch you work." Tommy laughed, giving her a light kiss before opening the door, and helping her out of the car. Big Lou was standing ready, Jude's bags in his hands, his eyes scanning the people.

Tommy watched from a distance as she signed autographs and took pictures with people, smiling the whole time. She was a different girl than the one he had meet at the airport weeks ago.

"Jude, you've got to check in." he reminded her, hurrying her inside the airport. "You're amazing." He whispered in her ear.

"I'm a rock star." She beamed back, taking his hand, and lacing their fingers together.

He looked down at their hands, then back at her quickly.

"They are going to find out sooner of later Quincy." She laughed, kissing him.

"Jude." He whispered. He had told her they were going to need to part quickly, that he wouldn't be able to let her go otherwise. "Call me when you land?"

"Absolutely." She kissed him again.

"Excuse me Miss Harrison." A security guard said, glancing at them then back at the crowd of reports.

"Yeah, sorry." Jude sighed. He could see that she didn't want to leave. She hugged him tightly, "I love you." She whispered.

He nodded, he could feel himself getting choked up already. "I love you too." He smiled as they pulled apart.

Jude gave him one last quick kiss before stepping back, handing over her passport and purse. "See you in 355 days."

Tommy nodded, and watched as she stepped through the security check point, stepping beyond his reach. He watched her, not able to move, not able to take his eyes off her. She could glance back and wave, blowing a kiss before she stepped out of sight.

"The worse part of your day is over." Big Lou said patting him on the back. "Now you get to find your own flight."

"The worse part is waiting." Tommy sighed looking up at the man with a small smile. He knew that the hard part had only started, waiting until he could be with her again, until he could have her next to him, that was going to be the hard part. But he knew this was going to make them stronger people, but part of him couldn't help but wonder if a year was too long, could they really make it that long? He had spent so much time waiting for her, waiting for her to be old enough, waiting for her to push him away, to leave him, waiting for her to let him back in, waiting for her to come back to him. The majority of their relationship together than been about waiting, and now he had to do it again. But he knew that he could wait until the end of time for her, for his girl.


End file.
